Night thoughts

I’ve been going out every day in the last three days. It’s getting easier. I’m starting to be less nervous about going out. It has to become a regular part of life. I don’t have to do this on my own. I have my psychiatrist and therapist. My family, my boyfriend, and my friends. I feel supported and that’s a good feeling.

I still have some delusions that bother me from time to time. Irrational fears combined with rational fears is a lot of fear for one person. No wonder I’m paralyzed. But I won’t be for much longer, that’s what I feel. It’ getting unbearable, I’m wasting my life. I’m starting to get bored of just staying at home and now I have plans. I have goals and none of them will be achieved if I just stay at home.

It has been so hard to write. I wrote a post on Friday, continued on Saturday. Wasn’t happy with the result so I started writing this new post. I hate to be inactive on WordPress but sometimes I suppose I will need to be. I guess I feel empty at times and that prevents me from writing. Also, if I don’t do much, I won’t have much to talk about. That is how it works.

My blog can be a motivation for me to get out and do things. I don’t want it to wither and die.

I have been forgetting to post about the music I’ve been listening to. I will post my recommendations for this week today.

I hope you are all okay.

Image by MasashiWakui, courtesy of Pixabay.


Author: scarlettcat

Writing as much as I can is my goal. Writing soothes the soul and quiets the mind. There's not much to say about me, my words talk louder than any description that I can make.

7 thoughts on “Night thoughts”

  1. It is good so far. And well the delusion they will fade away surely. And the writing part can be hard sometimes, don’t overthink on that. It will come out eventually. And keep smiling. Life is beautiful and so is everyone.
    All the best. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Remember that its okay not to write a post or be active on your blog because at the end of the day, it’s your blog and you should do what makes you feel happy and at ease. Going outside regularly is good progress, I’m really proud of you 🙂 In a sense, I’ve been having a similar problem with being active but don’t feel the need to force yourself to be active. Do it whenever it feels right!


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