Late night thoughts

Things come to an end. Sometimes unexpectedly. Other times, not so much. I was expecting this. It hurts but I’m okay. I’ve been through this before.

I feel sad but relieved. Things turned toxic fast. It happens. I have to accept it and move on. I don’t want to lose more peace of mind over this. I don’t want to feel as disturbed as I have been feeling. From passion to hate. It’s too much to handle for me and I need to cut him off of my life.

Music is so soothing. I love to be in the arms of a song. Beach Fossils are amazing. Such lovely music. Music to listen in the car, on a sunny day, while you travel to the beach.

I’m losing weight. I feel lighter and my pants are starting to sag. I’ve been avoiding unhealthy food. Exercising is also in my plans but I haven’t started yet. There are a few apps for it, though I noticed that most of them have beginners classes that are too intense for me. I’m really out of shape. Exercise is great for people with depression, which is ironic. People who are really depressed don’t have the energy or will to do it.

My plan is to start with very light exercises, like a stretching routine. Do it every day and after a week use a different app for beginners exercises and I’ll only do 5 minutes. After a week, I’ll increase it to 8 or 10 minutes. Baby steps all the way but I’ll get there. I will be sharing my progress with you.

I feel better now. A little sad still but it’s manageable. I just want to forget about this and move on. Trusting new people will be harder, from now on. There’s something in me that wants to be left alone. I just hope this doesn’t get in the way of my recovery. Take what I learned and use it, is what I’m going to do.

I can’t go back a few steps or many steps. After every disappointment, I get tired of people and tend to isolate myself more. Even from my parents. I can’t let it happen now. My parents will be the reason why I get up every morning, take a shower and do whatever needs to be done around the house and things that I have to do outside.

This is the fifth year that I’ve been this way and I need change. This year, I’ll take care of myself and others, get a job, go out more, etc. Writing and translating are a part of my plans. My skills have been improving, I feel more confident about them.

I have to use the dialectic approach to my situation. Accept it but also understand that it needs to change. There is no other way to deal with it, that I can think of. Peace is something that people who are in my situation really need. I can live in peace with this life and fight for a better one.

It’s not easy to do at first but you will understand it. Things are complex, much more complex than judgemental people think. Humans have an enormous depth.

I hope you are okay. Much love.

❤

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

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Author: scarlettcat

Writing as much as I can is my goal. Writing soothes the soul and quiets the mind. There's not much to say about me, my words talk louder than any description that I can make.

6 thoughts on “Late night thoughts”

  1. You must start somewhere and small is plenty. I stretch everyday. It feels so good to extend all of me and breathe. And you can live life and improve at the same time. Once you succeed a tiny bit it pushes you to do more. I think you are headed in the right direction.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yeah your Right!👍

    Disappoints are the most painful cuts in Relationships and friendships. It leaves Us depressed and isolated, like a lonely wolf.

    But overtime, The wound gets healed and we get up, feeling Stronger than ever. Learning from the past and glueing the pieces together to start over. But it doesn’t just happen like that, it takes time and discipline. Much energy is required, constant meditations and Self reflection. Regular Exercise also help, till we finally become whole.

    You got this! Keep going!

    Liked by 2 people

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