Jesus, it’s been a while. I have been so blocked, in terms of writing. Absolutely no motivation to write was my mood. But I can’t postpone it forever, if I want to keep my blog active.
My BPD and FP article is still being read every day by 8 to 20 people. I feel so good about that. I’m thinking of adding more resources and links, make it even more thorough.
I started talking to a coach through Wysa, an app I have reviewed before. I’m paying 9 euros a week for two chat sessions and on and off support with a coach. It seems to be good a way to start sorting out my life, after many unsuccessful attempts.
You start by setting goals. You choose one goal to start and you are given advice on how to get there.
In my case, I prioritized going out. I told my coach how many times I went outside a week and how there are vending machines under my building (I go there to have coffee). Her advice was to go there every day, no exception, and stay there for 10 mins, at least. I already did it today. I woke up early and had a cup of coffee outside.
A friend of mine is coming over. She’s cool. Seeing people often is good for us. Too much isolation never good. Though I understand that there are times when we need to be alone and we don’t want to see anyone. I’ve been there and isolating myself was beneficial in a way. After a while, I was hyperfocusing on myself. One friend told me that I needed to he with other people and socialize, in order to listen to other people’s problems and see that I’m not the only one struggling. Everything in this universe exists in relation to other things. We can’t be an island, most of us can’t. Our problems may seem enormous in isolation and, in comparison, they may seem less overwhelming.
Isolation also caused me to have a little social anxiety and agoraphobia. I feel like I can overcome it, if I keep trying.
I cut off three people from my life. It breaks my heart but it’s for the best. I feel much better now. It somehow allowed new energy to come into my life. I made a new friend and I’ve grown close to an online friend. He is amazing, kind, funny, smart, everything I want in a man. The problem is that he lives very far away. But only talking to him has been so good and helpful to me. It has energized me. I did so much today, I think that, in part, it was because of him.
I cleaned my rooms and the kitchen. It took me 45 minutes but I felt so good afterwards. Today has been a productive day. I also started a new piece.
I’m going to sleep soon. I feel tired. I hope you are okay. Missed you guys ❤
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