Aging Gracefully

Oh, to age gracefully. How many times have you heard this term? It seems that we hear/read it more and more these days, as people seem to be obsessed with physical beauty, cosmetic surgery, non-invasive procedures, etc.

How many times do we see celebrities be praised for how flawless they still look when they are older or put down for how older they look than their age? Don’t body shame, body positivity but that is okay. Especially if we don’t like the person. However, if the people of the opposing political wing do it, they are evil and low.

People rejoice in seeing people looking not that good and not youthful. Like that is a crime. It’s not. Life is like that sometimes and they probably just decided to not enhance themselves surgically or in some way along those lines.

So many people who are praised, just enhanced their appearance artificially, which is also shamed many times, especially when it’s botched. That enhanced appearance or great genes are the definition of aging gracefully. And I hate it.

It’s fine if people surgically transform themselves to feel better. It’s also fine if they don’t. Why do we deny nature and normal things up until this point, like wrinkles? And what does it have to do with grace?

For me, aging gracefully has much more to do with actions than beauty. Beauty in actions. And we demean people full of grace, who wear their wrinkles like jewelry, unapologetically, like it’s almost a character flaw.

That culture, which we contribute to, comes back to us later in life. Not all of us have money for procedures or courage or whatever is necessary. And then it’s not funny anymore. Then it’s depressing and we want empathy. Many times, we are unable to completely give it to ourselves and struggle to accept aging.

I don’t judge people who apply botox but I think that sometimes it’s a bit nicer to have some movement on your face. Even if you have wrinkles. Again, not shaming anyone, it’s an aesthetic choice that doesn’t concern anyone but the person who does it.

I plan to do some sort of procedure for my skin imperfections, that is something that I’ve always wanted. Something non-invasive but I’ll keep my little wrinkles. Obviously, I care about the aesthetic side a bit too, mainly because of first impressions. If some imperfection makes you feel upset or sad or uncomfortable, why not change it? However, you don’t need procedures to age gracefully. You don’t need to risk your life, especially going under the knife, when many times, you could use a part of that money on a bit of therapy, which could help.

We see people starting on one procedure and ending up doing several ones or even many. There is no such thing as perfection, nor do we need it to be happy or to be graceful. But I get the pressure, we get comments. “You’re old”, etc. Ageism is getting worse and worse. But I believe that it’s important to push back by not conforming to the “dictatorship” and unpleasant comments of other people.

It’s okay if that’s not for you, we always need to pick our battles. I know that you are helping others or making society better in other ways (if you read my blog, I know that you are great! Hehe). So it’s not a loss, it’s just a sensitive issue. We all have them. Like me with my skin.

But my wrinkles are not an issue for me. I don’t want to age gracefully. I want to age however I age, it doesn’t matter. Gracefully, “uglyly”. My actions will hopefully be graceful, beautiful and kind, as much as possible. My face and body, nothing is guaranteed but I will try to keep loving myself. Keep working out, do my little skin care. Just basic self-care.

But aging gracefully? Whatever happens, happens.


32 responses to “Aging Gracefully”

  1. For the most part, I believe that people are so wrapped up in their own appearance that they don’t pay as much attention to others as we might suppose. Or at least that’s the story I tell myself. Speaking of noticing, while admiring the digital art, I couldn’t help but notice—is it just me, or is the lady’s pinky fingernail on upside down?

    Liked by 4 people

    • This is what I see on social media. It’s partly what you say and partly what I say.
      Oh yes, AI art has those type of errors sometimes. Though I usually make enough tries as to that not to happen. Apparently not in this one haha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m working on a book called “Fantastic Without Plastic” about beautiful women over 50 who don’t go to the Botox, filler, surgery route. We don’t put it down, just offer other alternatives. For me, it’s face yoga and facial massages. Exercise helps because you sweet out toxins. And of course good eating habits. Personally I think people (of any age) look the best when they are happy.
    A smile is the best facelift someone can have! 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

    • Absolutely! I do face yoga, too. I forgot to say that. It’s effective, as crazy as it might sound to most people. Thank you for your comment 🙂


  3. Reblogged this on Mitch Teemley and commented:
    My Featured Blogger this week is Scarlett Carson of Scarlett’s BPD Corner. Diagnosed with BPD, graphic artist, writer, has learned to make lemonaid from lemons by exploring life, our world, and the power of hope through her gifts.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. “Not all of us have money for procedures or courage or whatever is necessary.”

    Quite true. And even if we can afford such things, there’s the ethical question of justifying such expenditures while people are starving, etc.

    Good thoughts here… and not easy choices. I must confess to having “considered” some hair replacement as I approach 70, but I always come back to the awareness that in my case it would simply be for vanity. Besides, as a Christian I look forward to the return of my once healthy hair when I receive the new body Christ has promised us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Indeed. Faith supports people in more ways than one. People who believe, in whatever, because I know the huge power that belief has, can take a lot and this is more superficial. However, self-esteem runs deep. Thank you for your insightful comment. I appreciate it.


  5. I thought that aging gracefully had to do with being able to get to the car without running into anything. No? I think that if you enjoy life, regardless of your physical ailments (yikes fibromyalgia!) then that joy shines through regardless of the wrinkles and scars and imperfections. That’s true beauty–inner joy. You can’t get that with a procedure or a treatment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My mother and I used to talk about good people being pretty in old age even with wrinkles and so on, and bad people not looking so great because they don’t shine, they don’t smile the same, their eyes are not bright with love and many times they do end up uglier. There is beauty in kind people, their expressions. And absolutely, there is no procedure for a mean spirit.
      Thank you for commenting.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Great post! Truth and wisdom. I earned the gray hairs, (wisdom highlights) and the wrinkles are laugh lines, .. at least that is what I keep telling myself. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I’ve always thought that each one of us sharing this planet have our own seasons, old age is one of them. All four of them should be enjoyed. For a man it’s probably much different, but women look so false with too much botox in the lips, on the forehead and around the eyes. It’s your body to do with as you see fit but do it in moderation then, hopefully, it won’t go wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

    • People still look around their age, just not wrinkly or as much. The thing is that they do look fake. But some people like the look and feel more comfortable that way. That is okay but it shouldn’t be pushed as the norm.
      I also agree that old age should be enjoyed as much as possible.
      Thank you for comment. I appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. My immediate thoughts on aging gracefully had nothing to do with good looks and appearance but enduring the pain and decline of others (and ourselves) without complaint and with complete acceptance. The evaporation of our personhood is cruel indeed.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Quite cruel but it does have its good sides. I feel much more serene and not as neurotic, as I get older. I’m better at my skills, more cultured than ever. But yes, it’s hard to deal with health issues and so on. It’s very hard.
      Thank you for your comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Scarlett, exterior appearance or perfection isn’t what comes to mind, when I think of the phrase “aging gracefully”. I concur with the sentiment you expressed about inner beauty––beauty in actions.
    I’ve observed people aging gracefully by who’ve endured life trials and hardships without becoming bitter ugly spirited people. They manage to survive, allowing their strength of character to shine, i.e.: Holocaust survivor, rescued sex trafficked person, wheelchair bound person living life with joy despite their physical limitations, someone living a kind and generous life in spite of near-nothing financial means, etc. these are the kinds of people I see age gracefully and hope to emulate. Their character makes them gracefully gorgeous rather than outward appearance.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: