I’m so happy. You have no idea. I never thought I would be able to amass so many followers in 3 years. It’s been an amazing journey. I’ve struggled and evolved. I have shared many things with you that most people don’t know. I have received amazing comments from people. I have read posts that I could relate to and that helped me.

I am not the most consistent lately but I will posting often from now on. We need a healthy community more than ever and to stay together (in isolation). I want to empower people, see the silver linings, suggest coping mechanisms, etc. Just write in a calm and positive way because we need to be calm and positive now more than ever. I also want to be around to read your input in the subject and whatever you write about that interests me.

I feel like WordPress is a safe space for me because I never get bad comments. I remember that I received a more judgmental comment some time ago but that was it. I’ve had this account since 2017. Here is our place to cry, to laugh, to vent, to empower, to express ourselves however we see fit. There is no wrong way to go about it. Even if no one reads it, you let it out.

Having more followers and engaging with them is definitely more fun than having only a few. I started out like everyone else, with only a few followers. But what made me write was my love for the craft. The followers just came naturally. But I could definitely use more engagement, I need to assert my presence online again.

I know I failed in this. I was consistent for years but slowly stopped having ideas for posts or desire to write. I drew a lot. I’ve drawn over 50 pieces since the start of the year. Now I feel more inclined to write. It’s like I have these idea incubation periods. I need time to stop and assimilate things once in a while.

I also was heartbroken and really not in the mood to write about it. I have mostly overcome it by now. My new boyfriend and binaural beats have helped immensely.

So yes, despite the chaos everywhere, I feel grateful for all my followers and I don’t want to be MIA again for so long.

I love you all. Thank you so much. ❤
Photo by Padli Pradana from Pexels

2019 Blog Stats So Far

Jesus, 19,000 views in a year and a half. I feel great. Almost 10,000 visitors. I am truly honored. It seems that my words travel a lot more than I do. Hopefully, they take you, my reader, to many different places.

482 posts is so much. It’s a lot of work but it was done with love 💘. I don’t feel like I wrote that much but it seems like I did, while struggling with depression, agoraphobia and BPD. Truly an accomplishment for a new blogger. Even if I only had 100 views, I would be happy. But this feels truly amazing.

So, this year, I wrote 107 posts. They received 271 comments and 2,223 likes. I wrote 52k words ( whoa). An average of 491.2 words per post. I love writing long posts. I sometimes ramble a little, that’s just how I am.

Looking at these stats only makes me want to do more and more. Keep writing, creating. It takes the strength of every fiber of my being to write sometimes. I delete lots of posts because I fail to finish them but I always write at least a post every week. That’s the secret. Pushing through and talking from your heart. Some people will relate, others won’t. Just keep saying what happens to you or your wishes, fear, whatever comes to mind but should be said.

I had a blog on Blogspot many years ago. It was a poetry blog. Only in 2017 did I start writing on this blog. And, boy, what a journey. I’ve cried, I’ve laughed. I’ve received kind comments. I’ve received a million spam messages, that WordPress filters so well. I have received praise and conpliments. People could relate and shared their stories with me. I read their stories in their blogs, we bonded. We all shared a dream: to write. It didn’t matter if we were good, great or mediocre. We tried and tried again. Our poems evolved, our journal became more intricate. We grew together, learning from one another.

When you have a mental illness, you can feel alone and disenfranchised. There can be periods of solitude and pain. There will be moments of contentment within our solitude. We will experience it all. And in those painful moments, we know we can post here. In the best and brightest moments we can write an ode to happiness. I’ve been sad but it this sadness has been highly creative. I feel like it opened and closed me. I remain open and closed. Spirit open, heart closed. Heart closed for maintenance, while my spirit flies. I grow spiritually and strengthen myself. It’s all I need. And while I heal, I write. I share my journey, my thoughts, anything I find useful.

I will go back to do more in-depth articles about mental health, as I used to do. I miss it and I think the blog needs. There’s a better chance of my spreading my word through organic Google search results. One of my articles BPD and FP(favorite person) has 1800 hits in a year, an average of 8 a day. Imagine if I keep writing articles about things that are widely discussed and others that aren’t, how much the blog can grow.

Thank you so much for reading and interacting with my blog.

3 followers ’til 900!

Woo, this is great and it makes me so happy. I’m one to celebrate a lot of things but I’m so close to 900 and next is 1000, which sounds crazy to me.

I had 14 hits from search engines today, that is amazing. All for my post about BPD and FP (favorite person). I’m so glad that people are reading it. I want to help as many people as I can with what I have learned during these years as a mental patient. That there is hope and treatment for people with BPD and that you can achieve peace and tranquility, not have mood swings, etc. I am here to tell you that it gets better and life becomes less overwhelming and more enjoyable.

Now that I got that off my chest, I can move on and do something else.

I wish you a pleasant night.


Night Thoughts

I feel good today. Waka Flocka Flame is playing from my speaker. He’s not the best rapper around but I like some of his songs. Music is loud but I’m not bothering anyone. It makes me feel alive.

I came home a few minutes ago, had a coffee with a friend near my house. Didn’t walk nearly enough today. I’ll have to walk more tomorrow. At least I showered. That is a small victory, sometimes it’s so hard to do it. But it feels good so it’s a bit easier to get used to do it every day. I’m also motivated by the fact that I see my friends more often and I don’t want to appear unkept. When you isolate yourself, it’s easier to disregard your appearance. You won’t be seeing anyone, why bother? It’s one of the reasons why it’s important to be social.

Being completely disconnected from the world is not a good thing. Though I understand why someone would crave it. I felt like being completely disconnected from everything many times. It hurt a lot to be connected, the fear and pressure were overwhelming. But being disconnected is not a viable option. We need people. We need to interact with others and create bonds. That’s how society has worked since the beginning of time. We need to be with our tribe, the people who love us, so we can help and empower each other. I try to be the supportive friend that always worries about you and helps you. It’s important to me to make sure my friends and family are alright.

I noticed this a few minutes ago:

Ayy! Almost 900 followers. Feels good, man. This is one of the things that keeps me going. I want to spread my message of mental health awareness. People need to speak out, even if anonymously. Write about your struggles and your victories. People will find you and relate to you. Loneliness and isolation are a real issue. When we relate to people online, we feel more included and less alone. We know there’s someone out there that is going through a similar situation. That is empowering. We can share strategies and tips to overcome specific issues. I also want to be a source of hope and spread the word that BPD is treatable and not a life sentence.

Thank you so much for reading my blog, it means a lot to me.

Today and how I’m doing

I’ve written a few posts these last few days. Never finished them. Today is the day to sit down and write.

My day was very good. I had an appointment with my psychologist. It felt great to vent but therapy also takes me to reality tunnels where I feel bad. Like when I talk about my experience with bullying, I feel so small and helpless. It’s like being back at that space and time. I also feel liberated afterwards, the puzzle of my trauma seems more organized.

Her office is so cozy and lovely. I lie on a bed. It’s very comfortable and I don’t have to face her. It feels easier to talk that way. She gives me a water bottle and she always offers me candy. I find this very thoughtful and kind. She didn’t need to do it and yet, she does.

I walked alone to her office, it was easy. I go out every day and walk for a while. Some days more than others but I always walk over two thousand steps. It feels great. I desperately need to be independent. That is one of my greatest desires: to be as I once were, an independent woman who don’t need no man (I’m just kidding, it’s just that I find that this sentence is so funny). Now seriously, I want to have a normal life. Do things by myself, earn more money, go out, learn and have fun. I’m getting there, my effort is slowly paying off.

I hope you are okay and I wish you a good night.

Image by The_dinga, courtesy of Pixabay.


I woke up and saw that I have 800 followers! I’m so excited about it, you can’t imagine. I never thought I would find so many like-minded people. People that enjoy what I write and relate to it. If my journey can be useful for others and inspire them, then it was all worth it.

hand writing with a pen, notebook and coffee mug

Writing is so therapeutic. It helps me a great deal. It’s a good way to think about issues, it helps me think and process things. It’s also great exercise and a way to improve my English. Languages need to be practiced regularly so you don’t lose your fluency and your writing skills. It’s my field of work, I need to be on top of it.

Having the responsibility to write on my blog regularly has been very beneficial for me. It gives me structure and keeps me busy. I love writing for people. It’s probably my biggest passion. I’ve done it for a long time but mostly in my native language. English is challenging but in a good way.

two polar bears

I appreciate you all very much. I’m so honored to be a part of your lives and witness your life. You inspire me and I’ve learned a lot since 2017. Keep reading and interacting with me. I will do the same.

Much love.

Images courtesy of Pixabay.

700 followers! Woop!(morning thoughts and a documentary to watch)

I woke up to 700 followers. Pleased can’t even begin to describe how I feel.

700 followers in a year is pretty good. I’m glad that my blog is reaching more people, that was my goal. I want to continue to write to you, share my thoughts, my findings, my ideas. It’s very important for me to have this responsibility to write regularly. It’s helping me become a better writer and a more responsible person. Thank you, everyone, from the bottom of my heart. I’m so honored to share my story with every one of you.

My goal is to become a success story. Someone who overcame adversity and built a good life. My parents need peace and to know that I have stability: mental and financial. That would make them feel like I have a chance to be independent in the future. That will be my gift to them. I’ve been doing baby steps for a while and it definitely works.

Repetition is becoming easier. Each day is still challenging but I’m learning to see the best in it. It’s a chance to become better, more resilient. I just had to adapt to it again. It’s important to accept life or else you don’t live.

I’m watching a documentary called “Elegant Universe” on YouTube. It’s a very interesting documentary, as it talks about general relativity and quantum physics. It explains string theory and other theories, Einstein’s quest for a unified theory, a theory of everything. I recommend it. It’s three, 1-hour episodes.

Looking at the world in a microscopic and macroscopic level is very eye-opening. You start to see yourself as very powerful but also small and seemingly meaningless. But we are a part of the whole, an important part. No matter how small.

Sweet Saturday morning, the weather is not very good but it’s acceptable. At least it’s not raining. There is some light. I woke up at almost 8 am. I’ve been watching that documentary and being completely mind blown. String theory is fascinating.

I hope you have a wonderful day. Love you all.

Picture by Herm, courtesy of Pixabay.

1 year anniversary of my blog!

I was just casually browsing WordPress, when I got this notification:

1 year anniversary achievement WordPress

1 year of blogging. Wow, just wow. Blogging was the best thing I did this year and I will continue to do it. There must be commitment and surrender to writing. You must know, in your heart and mind, that this is what you want. Or just do it as a challenge, see how long you can last. Don’t feel pressured to be anything, just write.

Colorful balloons

It’s incredibly healing and beneficial. Hiding who you are and having an online journal has been going very well. I like the feedback, the support. This is a wonderful community. I read amazing things. I learn from other bloggers. It’s important to express my opinion on some issues, to educate people on others.

I can ask my followers to pick colors and I’ll do an art piece for them. I spend a lot of time thinking about posts and also spend a lot of time writing the posts. I’ve done over 350 posts in 1 year. Some days are just frenetic: I ONLY feel like writing. Idea after idea. On other days, nothing comes to mind, don’t feel like blogging or even writing. I think I spent one month without writing.

Hot air balloons in the sky

Then, the need to write came back and I started writing again. These days, I’ve been feeling very inspired in many ways. Drawing and writing, mainly. Feedback about my art has been good and I appreciate it very much.

This year was good, it had its ups and downs but it’s ending in a good way. I hope I am here next year. I’ll write to you again and express my gratitude for being a blogger and all the lovely people I’ve met here.

If you’re just starting and you’re frustrated about blogging, you can take a look at my blog. I wrote blogging tips and about many other subjects. Maybe I can inspire you in some way.

I would like to thank everyone that interacts with my blog or just reads, it doesn’t matter. I’m glad that you use your precious time to read my posts. I hope I make your day and cheer you up. I just want everyone to be okay. No one needs to suffer in silence. Let’s be united and support each other. Be interconnected.

Cartoon man and question mark

I would love to hear your feedback. Tell me if you like my blog and why. You can also say you don’t like it and also state why. What would you like me to write about? Do you like poetry? Would you like to see more of my art? Tell me everything 🙂

600 followers! Promote your blog here

Thank you

Balloons celebration

Like the Fiat. 602 to be exact. I’m very pleased with all the followers. It has been one hell of a journey but totally worth it. I feel like this is what I should be doing. The commnunity also something that I enjoy a lot. All the comments and likes, the occasional reblog. Reading whatever comes to mind or it appears in the feed.

Writing can be pleasurable or a task. We must play with it. Enjoy it as much as we can. Looking for creativity. Finding helpful resources and apps. I’m working on my dream. Fighting to improve.

Poetry in English is a challenge for me. But I do it because I enjoy it. Challenges are good for us. This type of challenge keeps the mind active. It’s a good way to improve your writing and expressing yourself this way is a good way to think about things and come to conclusions.

I would love to know if you’d like me to write about something or review something. Leave a comment.

Thank you so much for reading what I post.

Promote your blog

And now, I would like to invite you to comment your blog url and talk a little bit about it. Read other people’s entries and follow them. They may follow back. Other people have done this and you can get followers this way. Search for “promote your blog” on WordPress and you will see other posts. Try your luck there, too. I will follow everyone who comments.

Image by makamuki0 and Pexels, courtesy of Pixabay.

5 months sober!

It’s been 5 months since I quit smoking weed. I thought that it would be very hard and it turned out to be easy. Triggers happen but not often. Most of the time I’m calm, relaxed and focused on other things.

If I get triggered, my first instinct is to think about something else. Also, thinking about how well I feel and how I have everything I need. That is a way of grounding myself and understanding that I don’t need to be high to enjoy life.

It’s good to be able to listen to lectures from online courses and not get distracted or bored. Learning new things is a natural high. I can understand what I want and don’t want to do. Some subjects are interesting, others not so much. A clinical psychology course has caught my attention. It’s very interesting and something I’ve always wanted to learn.

Sadly, college is out of reach. Thinking about what I can do for work makes me feel depressed. Feeling hopeless and discouraged. Thinking that I will never have a decent job and will be very poor. That bothers me. Money is not the most important thing for me but it has an important role in people’s lives. It’s a source of security and stability. Those thoughts lead me nowhere. I keep thinking in circles and feel terrible.

Today is a good day. I’m going out in a few hours. Going out at night with my boyfriend would be great. We only go out by day, he needs to rest on his day off. It will happen when he is on vacation. I’m so excited. Seeing him every day of the week sounds like a dream. He’s wonderful. It’s impossible for me to shut up about it.

I need to go now. That you have a good day or night is my wish.

Picture by NeuPaddy, courtesy of Pixabay.