I’ve been researching BPD and addiction. I would like to share my findings with you.
About 78% of people with this condition develop an addiction, at some point of their lives. BPD patients that also have an addiction condition are more impulsive and less stable than the ones that don’t have an addiction. Due to this impulsivity, there’s is a tendency for short-term rewards and less ability to work towards a mid or long term goals. Remission of BPD symptoms occur less frequently to those with BPD and co-morbid addiction. They are more affected by suicide ideation, quit treatment more often and experience shorter abstinence periods. Patients with BPD and addiction conditions should be treated as early as possible.
My thoughts on these issues and a confession
I can relate almost all of these. I’m very impulsive. My thoughts tortured me so much the last four days, that I relapsed yesterday. I’m not a regular addict. Some people don’t know that, once an addict, always an addict. You can be an addict that doesn’t use drugs. I have quit for months and more than year.
I wouldn’t say I’m less stable, having a healthy relationship with my parents has helped to start remission and the mood stabilizer works wonders.
I do focus on short-term rewards but I’ve been also working on long term goals, like this blog and getting a job. I think about the future a lot. It troubles me, I’m afraid that I’ll never be financially stable. I’m definitely afraid of a lot of things either because of misfortune or my inability to protect myself.
My doctor said my BPD is in remission, I’ve been experiencing less symptoms. I think my medication (risperidone, venlafaxin, lamotrigin, trazodone and nozinan) is a life saver, it controls the symptoms very well. Also, DBT has helped a lot. Some apps have also been life-savers.
I haven’t had suicide ideation very much, though it sometimes pops into my head but it doesn’t last long. I have quit treatment many times, I haven’t had much continuity in psychotherapy. I do have shorter abstinence periods. I think one year abstemia is too short. Some people just stop and never do it again. How I envy them.
About being treated as early as possible, I wasn’t. Up until a few years ago, psychiatrists and psychotherapists couldn’t help much with my drug use. I was on a day hospital, for people with mental health conditions and I was there exceptionally, because they didn’t usually accept people with addictions. I was humiliated there because of my drug use, had terrible group sessions, both with patients and parents (obviously including mine). I felt an intense emotional pain when my Father talked about me. It was too much for me.
I need to pick myself up and continue to fight though my conditions are actively sabotaging me. Nevertheless, I will survive. I would love to hear your thoughts on this so leave a comment.
Thank you for reading this and have a great weekend!
Source: Borderline personality disorder and comorbid addiction: ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4010862/