500 Posts!!

This is my 500th post. I’ve written so many words. Since 2017, I’ve been sharing my journey, talking about music, apps, sharing my art, etc. It has been amazing. There was beauty in the struggle and lessons to be learned. I welcomed every experience as an opportunity to grow. So I grew.

I grew into a more confident, more assertive, more stable and happier version of myself. Trust issues turned into healthy boundaries and I regained control. I understood that I can’t help everyone and that some people are not a good addition to my life. Life became more peaceful. Harmonious connections were made. Older bonds with toxic people were broken. I had more space for people better suited to me.

I began with a relationship that wasn’t making me happy, to falling in love with T and getting my heart broken. Survived narcissistic abuse once again. The scars from the past were reopened and I was so overwhelmed with pain that I had to cut all ties with him. That was a good thing. I miss him sometimes, the good side of him.

After a year, I was in a long distance relationship. He was so smart and funny. But things didn’t work out. We still talk, he is an amazing person.

Now, it’s a new dawn of a new day. I feel happy and content. I feel like life is giving me a break. I was consumed by worry and now I know I won’t be able to leave the house to get a job. I know that I have to get one but not now and that feels amazing.

I’m not fearful, worried or stressed. I am working out, eating well, having fun and doing productive things. Life is good and this blog is part of the reason why is it that way. I got to many conclusions while writing. It’s a good way to rationalize and process things. It helped with my recovery, though I am smoking at the moment. I know that if I need to get in the right mindset, writing will help.

I have posted very little this year and for that, I’m sorry. I need to write more frequently but sometimes I just lack the motivation or inspiration. Hopefully now, I’ll get back on track and post a few times a week. Writing is so important to me, so therapeutic. Reading your blogs and your comments is also so good. This is a wonderful community that I love, 99.9% of the time, the comments are positive and kind. I feel like I belong here, that I am connected to wonderful people from all around the world who share my passion for writing. For that and so much more, I am grateful.

I finally actually like living. I haven’t had suicidal ideation in over a week. I feel like I have a purpose and I finally have more pleasure doing things. I am grateful to be alive. It’s a wonderful feeling. It feels like my hard work has been paying off. I will work even harder and go even farther.

Thank you so much for reading and supporting my blog. I love you all.

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from Pexels

400 followers!

I reached 400 followers a few days ago. I’m very excited about it! It has been a bumpy and delightful road. I have met wonderful people that support me in every step of the way. Even when my posts are boring, self-pity parties. I want to enrich my blog with informative posts and not justv talk about myself. I understand how boring and uninteresting it can be to my followers.

I want to thank you all for following, liking, commenting and reblogging my content. You are the best and I love you all!

Image by Artturi_Mantysaari, courtesy of Pixabay.

Sobriety and how I am doing

25 days. It has been getting easier, even though I am bombarded with weed content on Facebook. It does not seem to affect me that much, I just keep scrolling and my mind wanders. I have the occasional thought of buying from time to time but I brush it off. I guess I really got tired of it, I mean, 18 years is a long time.

I have not been feeling like writing in the last week. I think I am still adjusting to being sober. Most of the time, I just wish I had more discipline and just wrote every day. Discipline is so important and can take you very far. I have almost none. I am still stuck at home every day, so there are not many things happening in my life. We are already in April and the only productive thing I have done is writing. I feel like a failure but I also feel like I should not beat myself up over it. Just keep going to therapy and trying to slowly change my bad habits. My sleep schedule is a mess and it is causing tension with my parents. I understand where they come from but I cannot stop myself for the life of me.

There are good things happening, too. I have not been feeling as paranoid as before and I have not had many intrusive thoughts. The best day of the week, my boyfriend’s day off has become even better. I have more money to spend with us. We talk more and have fun. We shop for food and prepare good meals. I love shopping for food with him. For a moment, I feel like we are living together and it is the best feeling. There is a wonderful coffee shop near the supermarket, it is sunny and very quiet. We like to sit there, have a cup of coffee and talk. It is one of my favorite places to be in this city. The coffee is absolutely delicious and it feels great to just sit and enjoy each others company. It is wonderful to talk with someone who understands and is sensible. We are still discovering things about each other. The spark is still there are after almost 5 years. That feeling of being completely comfortable with someone is amazing.

I had a meltdown Tuesday night. Lots of intrusive thoughts and my mind was just torturing me. I cried until my face hurt and well beyond that. My boyfriend woke up and gave me a big hug, promised me everything would be alright. That helped me a lot. He is my rock. He acts silly just to make me smile. I love how comfortable and open he is it with me. He is so precious and wonderful. He came into my life at the right time, I am so grateful for meeting him.

There has been some tension between my Father and I. We have small arguments about mundane things and my behavior. I understand that the life I lead must be shocking for him as the disciplined man that he is. I cannot get my point across, that I have issues and that I am not feeling good about this situation either. I have told him that being at home every day and sleeping late is not making me happy either. That it is not normal and that he should have a little more patience but I think I am asking for too much. I am fortunate enough that they are supporting me financially and allowing me to stay in their house. I think that is the most important and that shows love for me. Even when their actions sometimes do not. They are tired and they have every right to be. I have to be even more patient and understanding, make an effort to make them happy while trying to make myself better. We have fought so hard and we need peace.

Image by Free-Photos, courtesy of Pixabay.

I was nominated for a Mistery Blogger Award!

I am thrilled about another blog award. This time it is the mistery blogger award. I get so happy when I am nominated. It is a chance to do fun stuff like answering questions and coming up with questions for nominees. I think it is a very important thing in our community and a good way to promote good blogs and be promoted.
I was nominated by my dear Pooja Mohanty. His blog is very interesting and insightful. I recommend you to check it out. I cannot provide a link to his as I am still growing accustomed to the mobile app but I will ask him to post his link in the comment section.

MYSTERY BLOGGER AWARD” IS AN AWARD FOR AMAZING BLOGGERS WITH INGENIOUS POSTS. THEIR BLOG NOT ONLY CAPTIVATES; IT INSPIRES AND MOTIVATES. THEY ARE ONE OF THE BEST OUT THERE, AND THEY DESERVE EVERY RECOGNITION THEY GET. THIS AWARD IS ALSO FOR BLOGGERS WHO FIND FUN AND INSPIRATION IN BLOGGING; AND THEY DO IT WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND PASSION. WWW.OKOTOENIGMASBLOG.COM
– OKOTO ENIGMA

The rules of the award include:

Put the award logo/image on your blog.
List the rules.
Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
Answer the questions you were asked.
Nominate 10 – 20 people & notify.
Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).

Three things about myself:
I absolutely adore cats.
I have been writing my whole life.
My family, boyfriends and friends are lovely and supportive.
Questions I was asked:
1- What is the best of you?
I cheer people up when they are sad.
2- Why should you love yourself?
Because it is a one of the best things you could to your self-esteem, happiness and mental health.
3- Your favourite book. A little synopsis would be lovely. I promise to read it.
One of my favorite books is Rebecca. She gets married with a very wealthy man. Rebecca moves in with him and their governess is a shady individual that prefered her masters late wife. Things are not as they seem and it has a wonderful plot twist.
4- Your life in three words.
Peace, quiet, challenges.
5- Write about the purpose of your blog.
The purpose of my blog is to bring awareness to BPD and mental health in general. I want to empower and inspire people. I also want to use it as a journal to rationalize my every day life better.

My nominations are:

| Mental Health @ Home
| Ease the ride
| The Bipolar Brat
| The Stories in Between
| RaynotBradbury
| Marand Russell
| Jack Collier 7
| Therapy Bits
| Grumpy Gorman
| BrightPurpleDaisies
| Meg The Introvert
| UnbreakableYetFragile
| Revenge of Eve
| Braving Mental Illness

My questions for the nominees:
~ What was the most important experience in your life?
~ What makes you keep going?
~ If you had to choose between streaking and eating the same meal for 5 years, what would you choose?
~ What was the post you enjoyed writng the most? Talk a bit about it and why it made you feel so much enjoyment?
~ What is your favorite topic or theme to talk about in your blog?

I am sorry that I could not tag you guys, I am using the app and having a few technical difficulties.

The Versatile Blogger Award (updated post with more nominations)

I was nominated for the Versatile Blogger Award. I love getting awards and nominating people. I also love to read the answers to questions or, in this case, 7 facts about yourself. I hope you enjoy my facts and I hope these award posts are not boring to you (I really enjoy doing them).

versatile

RULES

  • Thank the person who gave you this award and link to their blog.

I would like to thank Chizurue for nominating me. Their blog is about anime, k-pop, manga and more. It’s a very interesting and diverse blog. It’s very visually appealing.  Check it out, if you can!

 

  • List 7 things about yourself.
    • I am an only child.
    • I am turning 34 in May.
    • I love to draw.
    • I use Discord a lot
    • I love coffee (black with sugar, please!)
    • I love to stay up late but I like waking up early
    • I have a cat.

Nominate 10 to 20 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award :

RayNotBradbury

Maranda Russell

Mental Health @ Home

The Stories in Between

This Bipolar Brat

iReminiss

Ease The Ride

Braving Mental Illness

Revenge of Eve

Girl Eccentric

Jeanny It Girl

Sunshine Blogger Award!

I was nominated for a Sunshine Award. I’m very happy about this nomination as I am with all nominations. It’s an honor to be a blogger and a great honor to be nominated for these awards. Thank you so much Eternal Conversations , your blog is great. So motivational and such interesting reads. I wish you good luck with blogging and I hope you keep writing for a very long time.

I hope my followers can take the time to read and follow Eternal Conversations.

RULES FOR THE AWARD

  1. Shout out to the blogger who nominated you with a link to her/his blog.
  2. Answer questions given by the blogger.
  3. Nominate 11 bloggers for the sunshine award, with links to their blogs.
  4. Don’t forget to notify your nominees.
  5. Come up with your own questions and tag 11 other bloggers nominating them to do the same.

 

These are my answers to Eternal Conversation’s questions:

  1. What your blog name stands for?

My blog’s name means that it’s my corner of the internet. The place where I share my thoughts and feelings, where I share mental health articles and tips. Where I talk about music and apps.

  1. Why you’re blogging? what the idea behind it?

I’m blogging to share my experience with mental health conditions, to help people that are going through the same. My idea is to raise awareness for BPD and mental health. Spread knowledge.

  1. What the one thing that makes you feel amazing about yourself?

When I do something that makes me proud. When I face my fears.

  1. Apart from blogging, what else you do?

I would rather not answer that.

  1. What your source of inspiration/motivation?

To understand life better, help others and help myself.

  1. Please describe yourself in 6 words.

Calm, peaceful but a tortured soul.

  1. Do you think your current leader/government is propelling your country in the right direction?

In some ways, yes. In others, no. I wouldn’t vote for them to stay.

  1. your 5 favorite movies and actors? 

Cinema Paradiso, Pi, Gone Gir, The Virgin Suicides and Her.

Tilda Swinton, Uma Thurman, Keanu Reeves, Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson.

  1. Three songs that you are hooked on?

Cocteau twins – Persephone

Joy Division – Interzone

Asura – Crossroad Limiter

  1. What your idea of a healthy relationship?

A healthy relationship has defined boundaries. It’s based on respect, trust, friendship, and love.

  1. One message you want to convey all the sane minds?

Be true to yourself and kind to others.

 

My Nominees are:

Thetimeisnow

Functioning In My Dysfunction

Littlelostone

Bloody People Destroyer

Peace Within The Borderline

The lost river

bpdrecovery98

Rachel’s Blog

Another “Hysterical Woman”

Growth And Two Sugars

Head Space

My questions:

1. How has 2018 been treating you?

2. What are your plans for this year?

3. Do you have pets? What are their names?

4. Imagine that you could reincarnate in any person that has ever lived (regardless, of time and space). Who would like to be?

5.If you could have been born in another time, when would you have been born?

6. What are you grateful for today?

7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

8.  What is your best memory of all?

9. What makes you happy?

10. If you could change the world, what would you change

11. If you could have one super-power, which one would you choose?

I was nominated for a Liebster Award and a Unique Blogger Award!

unique-blogger-award1

Yesterday, two amazing bloggers nominated me for a Liebster Award and Unique Blogger Award. I am very honored and happy for these awards. I just started roughly one month ago, I have gotten a lot of feedback and people like what I write.

For me, it’s a dream come true to be writing again and to be involved in this wonderful community.

I was nominated by Mental Health @ Home and The Awkward Life of Erin.

Mental Health @ Home is a blog about the personal journey of Ashley, where mental health plays an important role. She wants to share her experience in order to fight mental health stigma.

The Awkward Life of Erin is a blog about venting about her emotional baggage, in a humorous and delightful tone.

I would love you to check out these two amazing blogs!

Liebster Award: These are the rules:

  • Create a new post thanking the person who nominated you.
  • Provide a link to their blog.
  • Include the award graphic.
  • Answer the questions provided.
  • Nominate 10 recently followed bloggers and share your post with them so they can see it.
  • Make a new set of 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

Mental Health @ Home questions:

  1. What changes would you like to see in the world within the next ten years? I would like Universal Basic Income to be implemented, the end of inequality and mental health stigma.
  2. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind? I have 3 lovely cats.
  3. What is your least liked thing about blogging? Sometimes I feel like I can’t write and it’s hard to write but I’m getting used to it.
  4. How in touch are you with your surroundings? I can be very observant or distracted, it depends on how I feel.
  5. What is your favorite social media site? Probably weheartit.
  6. Do you wake up early or like to sleep late?  I go to bed late but I like to wake up early lol
  7. Where would you most like to visit and why? I would love to go to Iceland, it’s the most peaceful country in the world.
  8. If you could have a drink (can be water) with anyone alive or dead, who would you choose? Nikola Tesla.
  9. What is your favorite book? The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster.
  10. If you could be any animal what would you be? I would be a cat.

Awkward Life of Erin questions:

1. Why did you choose the avatar you have? I like colorful pictures and neon. I took the picture from the internet and then manipulated it with apps.

2. Do you share your blogging experience with people you know in real life? To what extent? Yes, I do but not everyone. That is why I write under a pseudonym.

3. Do you think your blogger persona differs from your real life personality? I talk from the heart, so my blogger persona isn’t much different from my real life personality. I’m open and honest in real life but even more on my blog.

NOMINATIONS

1. Hands in the garden

2. Suhaib’s

3. Undeniably Sara

4. The Bipolar Brat

5. MentallyNotReyt

6. Positively BPD

7. Emerging From The Dark Night

8. Not Easily Broken

9. When I’m With You, Whitney Ibe Blog

10. Ease the Ride

 

So this is it! You can choose any questions you like. Have a great day everyone and happy blogging!