Morning Thoughts

Hello, everyone.

I’ve written every day, over these past two weeks but I’m having a little trouble posting. I start the posts and always fail to finish. It’s very frustrating. That changes today.

I’ve been feeling better, made some new online friends that I really like. I’ve been learning so much about music on Facebook alternative music groups. It’s something that I really enjoy and that makes me happy.

This morning, I’m listening to The Cure’s Pornography album. It’s a very good album and their sound has aged so well. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like The Cure. Their sound appeals to a broad audience. They are one of the godfathers of indie rock. I listened to Disintegration afterwards. It’s also a flawless and timeless album. I highly recommend both albums but I suggest listening to their entire discography.

I will spend the rest of my day listening to music and doing courses. I have to be as busy as possible. It helps me a lot and I’ve been learning so much about music and blogging, among other things. Skillshare really has a plethora of courses, made by people with experience in the subject. Blogging courses are super helpful, even for people with some experience and knowledge. Everything is complex, if you want to be proficient. You need to analyze your blog, your stats. Picture your average reader and aim to write something that will appeal to them, while you also write about something that means something to you. There is so much to learn about blogging, I will never stop learning.

The day started gray but now it’s sunny. I may go for a walk in a few hours. It would be good for me. I haven’t walked much lately.

I may also take a shower today. I’ll try to do it standing up and not fill the tub with water. I had enough energy to do that yesterday. The antidepressant dosage I take now was increased. Hopefully it will help me. I don’t like when I have to increase the dosage of what I take but it’s a necessary evil.

I feel so good today. I hope you and I have a really good and productive day. I love you ❤️❤️❤️

Picture taken from Pexels.

This morning’s thoughts

Good night, everyone.

I love when the day starts in the morning. When I wake up at a reasonable time and get to spend the morning doing things I like. Writing, listening to music, doing a course, etc. I need to buy a new computer but I’ve been postponing going to the store. I’ll see if I can do it over the phone. That would be great. I don’t feel like going outside. I really don’t. I want to spend the day at home. I wonder why I became this way. It used to be easy to go outside but then it started to be so hard.

I hear noises outside and I don’t want to be near the noises. Mixed feelings arise when I think about the outside world. On one hand, I like to be outside and feel the fresh air on my face. On the other hand, I don’t want to go outside. It’s really irrational and potentially dangerous to me. Sedentary life is very bad for the body and the mind. I know all of that and none of it seems to motivate me to change. I watch motivational videos and they only make me feel more frustrated.

I don’t know what to do. I’m really lost and aimless. Like something is missing from me. Something I lost along the way. My spark, my drive and my motivation. They are gone.

I remember when I used to go everywhere. Walk big distances, catch a bus and go from point A to point B. Now it’s very hard. I never go anywhere outside of my comfort zone. I always go to the same places, with the same people.

I remember when I went to parties all by myself. I was very independent. Freedom was what I felt. Now, I am trapped. Locked in a house, with no intention of going out. Great. Just great.

Just called the store and I can order over the phone. Phew. Another bullet dodged. I’m so glad. The day started well. I hope the rest of the day is on the same note.

I wish you a good day.

Early morning thoughts

It’s 8 am. I woke up at 7 am. I feel good, listening the birds sing outside. It’s a wonderful feeling. I have been waking up in the morning and my sleep schedule is back on track. Things are changing. Slowly but surely. I’m also happy with how my blog is turning out. I’m happy that I can commit to something and be consistent, that’s the most important thing to me. Lately, I’ve been finishing my projects. In the past, I’ve started so many things I didn’t finish. My impulsivity absolutely ruled me and sometimes, I started projects of things that I really wasn’t into or thought I was but found out I wasn’t.

It’s so important to me to be writing again, writing is my passion. I stopped for many years but you never forget a love like that. Words and statements come together to give meaning to life. It’s a good way to rationalize feelings. I need that so much. As I’m sharing, things make more sense and maybe someone that reads this can relate and be inspired or relieved to know that someone is going through the same. Maybe see things more clearly. That’s how therapeutic a blog can be, to the reader and to the writer. This is a project that inspires me and that keeps me going.

I’m going to carry on with the rest of the day. I hope that you have a great day. 🙂

Thank you for reading this.

Image by Couleur, courtesy of Pixabay.

Morning thoughts(2)

It’s morning, the sun is shining. I feel great in the morning, hate waking up late. The morning sun is anti-depressant, so it’s the best time to be out in the sun though I rarely do it. I’ve been in this state for many years, hiding from life (“hiding like thieves in the night from life”). Music keeps me going, it’s one of the things that help me. This is my last fm, if anyone is interested to know what I’ve been listening to. Right now, I’m listening to Spotify’s Discover Weekly. I’ve been mainly listening to playlists or discographies.
This morning will be productive. I’ll be writing. Keeping my mind occupied and finding new material for this blog.
I want this blog to be informative and helpful. A blog that can help improve your quality of life and help you find answers.
I spent many years looking for answers. I had so much anger and resentment. That consumed me. My life was a rollercoaster. I was happy for a while, every day. Now, I rarely know what happiness is. But I know what stability is and that, for me, is a type of happiness. Having emotional stability was one of my dreams. Having a stable home life was another one and I achieved that, too. Many things changed when after I turned 30. The fire of anger was extinguished, resentment faded a lot. Things started to make more sense. One day, my psychiatrist told me that I had the power to stop the arguments with my parents. I stopped fighting and they stopped fighting. We were in peace again, just like that because I started to talk less and listen more. No one wins in a fight, everybody loses. So why start one? Why not discuss things in a civil manner? I’m not judging anyone who does it, this is just food for thought.

The morning is almost over. Thank you for reading this.

Image by Engin_Akyurt, courtesy of Pixabay.