Oh, The Things I Would Do If I Didn’t Have To Clean

Hmm, so: blog post made, room almost cleaned, the other room to clean. It’s a struggle today, I don’t feel like doing any of that. Sometimes I get these urges to clean at 2 am or something. But right now, it’s like the last thing I feel like doing. Nevertheless, it must be done. I’m going to finish my cigarette and my coffee. After that, I’ll resume cleaning. Oh! The things I would do if I didn’t have to clean haha.

Cleaning takes discipline and helps cultivate it. Doing stuff when you really don’t want to do it is adulting. Can’t avoid it.

I’m listening to $uicideboy$. Their sound is interesting. One of them has a flow similar to Bone thugs and harmony. The beats are dark and very well done. Not for the faint of heart, lots of suicide, death, sex and drugs references. I don’t pay attention to the lyrics, I really enjoy the beats. It’s going to be my soundtrack for cleaning.

Here I go. I’ll be back in a few minutes, after I do what I have to do.

I finally cleaned my bathroom and room. I like cleaning the sink for some reason. Seeing it going from dirty to clean. It’s also good to see all your clothes on the hangers or folded. That special chair in your room no longer has a pile of clothes on top of it. The underwear and socks lying around the floor are on the laundry basket. Seeing everything clean and sorted is so satisfying. Relaxing for a bit afterwards feels really good.

I think I’m going to push myself and clean even more today. Sweeping the floor of a few rooms and washing the dishes. I’ll set a time to do it. In an hour, I’ll do a bit more.

In the meantime, I’m listening to music. Joji, to be exact. He is not my favorite but he has some okay songs. Now it’s Lil Peep. I’m on YouTube Music and it’s on auto-play. Not bad so far. The premium version of YouTube Music is free when you subscribe to Google Play Music. It comes in handy when I write on my phone because I can have the app playing in the background, I don’t have to split the screen and have WordPress and YouTube at the same time. It’s not that bad but I prefer the whole screen for WordPress.

I think I will draw until it’s time to start cleaning again. I hope you are having a good day. Take care.


What I Have Been Up To

I haven’t written in a while. Took an unintended break. I just didn’t feel like writing at all. My PC has been off for over a week. I don’t want to turn it on, for some reason. It’s weird. My mind has been quieter, less painful memories.

One of my aunts died last week. We had a complicated relationship but I loved her. Had to go to the wake and the funeral. I hated it. My mom cried and cried. I just stood there. Numb and cold. Waiting for it to end.

Now that I’m getting older, funerals are more frequent and it’s not very pleasant. Death has been a part of my life since I was little. I have thought about it for a long time. It’s the end of a cycle, as important as life itself. We shouldn’t fear it, nor should we look for it. Let nature take its course. Everyone knows that life is hard, it’s a fact. But not everything is bad, there are a lot of great things about living. The mystery of life is also appealing. The uncertainty and impermanence. We have seen a black hole for the first time, a few days ago. I believe there will be many more breakthroughs and discoveries that will help us understand life and the universe. That makes me excited to live. These are exciting times. An excellent time for inquisitive minds.

My mind has been so scattered. I lose myself on YouTube and then draw. Then, I remember that I should be writing and get back to that. I’ve written a few posts but never completed them, which is a mistake. It’s wasted work. Blogs need to he active in order to have a good ranking on Google. I need to keep that in mind. There are a few subjects that I want to write about. I’m working on an article about self-care, which I think is very important for everyone but especially for people with mental health conditions.

I’m listening to Italo Disco. The name of the artist is Casco (Salvatore Cusato). There are a few albums on YouTube.

Thank you for all of your comments. You are too kind. I’ll be sure to check out your blogs as soon as possible. Much love ❤

Album Review: Have A Nice Life – Deathconsciousness

I listened to Have A Nice Life‘s, Deathconsciousness album.

Have A Nice Life is an American band that was founded in 2000. Experimental rock, post-rock, post-punk, shoegaze, industrial, ambient, drone and black metal are genres that you can discern in their music. Have A Nice Life are Dan Barrett and Tim Macuga. It was founded in 2000 and they are still active to this day. Two albums were released and Deathconsciousness was very popular in the alternative scene. It’s the band’s debut album and it was released as a dual-album, in 2008.

I like almost all the songs in this album. Every one of them except The Big Gloom. My favorite ones are A Quick One Before The Eternal Worm Devours Connecticut, Bloodhail, Waiting For Black Metal Records To Come In The Mail, Holy Fucking Shit: 40,000; Deep, Deep; I Don’t Love and Earthmover. There are very soft melodies like A Quick one and Who Would Leave Their Son Out In The Sun. You have to listen to this album several times to really get it. It’s an album to savor and enjoy. The songs are very powerful and huge statements. There are build-ups and crescendos, with very intense moments.

My favorite song of the whole album is Bloodhail. The dual vocals provide emotion to the song and this album is all about emotion. This song has a strong emo element but with a twist.

This album has a strong post-punk influence, especially in the rhythm section. Every song is remarkable in its own way. Some drone and ambient moments that really contribute to the eerie feel of the album. Hunter has a strong post-rock element that I really enjoy. There are also some electronic music elements and synths at times. From industrial to post-punk, this album has a very 80’s sound.

I would rate it 10/10 for variety, concept, consistency, originality. It has it all. Definitely one of the best albums of 2008.


Album Reviews:

“Have a Nice Life’s debut is simply amazing. Not only is it an awesome piece of music, it’s an awe-inspiring experience, one that will no doubt haunt you for a long, long time. While far from being perfect and most definitely not for everyone, Deathconsciousness displays an ambition and passion that cannot be taught. Dark, depressing, haunting, and strangely uplifting, if this record does not evoke some sort of emotion from you then I am convinced you have no soul.”

Cody Foss, SputnikMusic


“Have a Nice Life set a rather high bar for what new or little known bands are capable of producing on their own.”



“Ranging from full on drones laced with sparse textures to fuzz filled beauty, it’s a full listening experience that must be heard from start to finish…Deathconsciousness comes as a wonderful surprise for me in 2008, and I am thinking it will be the same for some others out there.”

Built On A Weak Spot


“The hypnotic atmosphere, existential themes and stirring climaxes make Deathconsiousness one of the greatest artistic statements to grace the alternative scene since Radiohead’s Kid A. Take the time to explore this album in its entirety and let the dark drones wash over. If the moon is at the right height in the sky, or the clouds give way to a massive downpour, make sure you have this album on hand.”

The Rock Blogger

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

Last Week In Music

Last week I listened to fewer songs and fewer new artists. I must’ve have listened to Deathconsciousness by Have a Nice Life over 5 times.

So let’s see my top artists:


I talked about Orchid Mantis before in this post. It’s an amazing band and I’ve definitely listened to them many times. I also talked about Bauhaus in this post that I recently wrote. I will write about Have A Nice Life soon. It’s taking me ages to finish that post, I have no idea why.

Tyler Burkhart is a new discovery. It’s Indie Pop. It can be mellow or cheerful. Sometimes sad. He is a multi-instrumentalist, taking DIY to the next level, as he is self-taught and writes, records, and releases his own music. A must-listen if you like Indie.

Parks, Squares and Alleys is an old favorite. Their song Youth is what made me like him. He is a solo artist, a singer, and guitarist from Russia named Sergey Khavro. This is his bio on Bandcamp:


What does he mean by noise-monk, does anyone know? I found it funny. His sound is very dreamy and melodic. Definitely lo-fi. His voice is great. It’s definitely an Indie type voice, which I quite like. I highly recommend this artist.

Peter Murphy is Bauhaus’ former frontman. He had success in his solo career and at least two hits. Cuts You Up is a hymn of the ’80s. He also had other hits like “A Strange Kind of Love”, “Marlene Dietrich” and “The Hit Song”. I liked some of his songs, others not so much. I recommend at least listening to Cuts You Up.

Lilys are an indie rock band whose founder is Kurt Heasley, the only member that is a constant in a band. The band was formed in Washington DC in 1988. Their debut album In The Presence Of Nothing was released in 1992. Their sound is indie rock. Several of their songs have been featured in advertisements and one even reached #16 in the UK charts. They have a shoegaze phase, a dream pop phase. Their sound changed over the years. I highly recommend this band.

Here are my favorite albums:


I recommend all these albums. I’m in the process of writing a review about Deathconsciousness, so you’ll have to wait a few days (maybe less, I may finish the post tonight).

There was a Last Week in Music where I talked about Yellow House by Orchid Mantis. In short, it’s a very pleasant and dreamy album from a wonderful band.

Mask is one of my favorite albums from Bauhaus. It’s so raw and crude. The rhythm section is incredible. It’s a very dark and gloomy album, Peter Murphy kills it. It features amazing songs that really portray the 80’s goth scene. I like most of the songs on the album, especially Hollow Hills, The Passion of Lovers, Dancing, Kick in the Eye and Mask.

This album by Parks, Squares and Alleys is beautifully named. I think he is an artist of taste and sensibility. It’s music to drive to the beach, on a sunny day. I would say that this album is influenced by surf-pop. It features Youth, that song I have talked to you about. This guitar speaks to me. The artist sounds sensitive and connected. The other tracks are also very good.

Cold Blood Magic is a 2018 album by Parks, Squares and Alleys. The sound is different from the album I just wrote about. It sounds like 60’s or 70’s music. The harmonies with voices, the instrumentals. Honestly, I prefer the other album.

Lost Days by Tyler Burkhart is an amazing album, with gorgeous and moving songs. Some are very cheerful, others are more mellow and a little sad.

Flashbulb Memory is an excellent album. Unreal, eerie, and slow, this album is perfect to listen at night. Great to unwind and relax. The track Flashbulb Memory is so lovely. I’ve listened to it countless times. His music is full of emotion. It ‘s sad but beautiful.

I love, love, LOVE this album. It’s amazing. This artist was an excellent discovery. Slow and deep songs, accompanied by a terrific voice. It’s great indie rock. The melodies are fairly simple and catchy. At The Park is a spoken word track and I find it fascinating. I love The Escape. It’s a bit faster and more upbeat than the other songs.

Here are the songs that I listened to the most, last week:


As I’ve said before, I listened to the Have A Nice Life album many times and it shows. I recommend all these songs.

I hope you like my recommendations and that you listen to as much music as possible.

Have a good weekend.








Last Night’s Music (Bauhaus)

Yesterday afternoon, I listened to Bauhaus: This Is Bauhaus playlist on Spotify and their Mask album. I enjoyed it a lot, it’s very 80’s but not in a cheesy way. They were innovators and trendsetters. Their music is iconic. I recommend listening to:




These are my favorite tracks so far. Post-punk is one of my favorite genres. It’s dark and heavy but still danceable and fun. The ’80s must’ve been a great time to be a teen or a young adult. Mainstream music wasn’t as bad as it is now. I hate auto-tune. It really ruins songs. It’s everywhere today.

Bauhaus was an English band from Northampton. They were Daniel Ash (guitar, saxophone), Peter Murphy (vocals), Kevin Haskins (drums) and David J (bass). Originally, Bauhaus were Bauhaus 1919 because it was the first year of that art school. This band broke up in 1983. Their members ended up having other projects ( solo or not). Peter Murphy went solo and had some success. Daniel Ash, Kevin Haskins and, David J started Love and Rockets,Screenshot_2

which also was successful. Those are a lot of listeners.





Bauhaus obviously has more listeners, more than double of the listeners.

“After only six weeks as a band, Bauhaus entered the studio for the first time at Beck Studios in Wellingborough to record a demo. One of the five tracks recorded during the session, “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”, more than nine minutes long, was released as the group’s debut single in August 1979 on Small Wonder Records. The band was listed simply as Bauhaus, with the “1919” abandoned. The single received a positive review in Sounds, and stayed on the British independent charts for two years. The song received crucial airplay on BBC Radio 1 and DJ John Peel’s evening show, and Bauhaus were subsequently asked to record a session for Peel’s show, which was broadcast on 3 January 1980.”


Their sound is amazing and varied. Peter Murphy is an excellent vocalist and a big part of the soul of the band. I wish they had stayed longer as a group and made more records.

What is post-punk, you may ask?

“Post-punk (originally called new musick) is a broad type of rock music that emerged from the punk movement of the 1970s, in which artists departed from the simplicity and traditionalism of punk rock to adopt a variety of avant-garde sensibilities and diverse influences. Inspired by punk’s energy and DIY ethic but determined to break from rock cliches, artists experimented with sources including electronic music and black styles like dub, funk, free jazz, and disco; novel recording and production techniques; and ideas from art and politics, including critical theory, modernist art, cinema and literature. Communities that produced independent record labels, visual art, multimedia performances and fanzines developed around these pioneering musical scenes, which coalesced in cities such as London, New York, Manchester, Melbourne, Sydney and San Francisco.


Examples of post-punk bands are Siouxie and the Banshees, Joy Division, Talking Heads, Pere Ubu, The Cure, The Fall. If you like Bauhaus you may know or you may like these bands as well. I know I do.

I like the goth element of Bauhaus, the gloomy atmospheres, and dark beats. That’s what I like about it, it ‘s different from the average band. It is influenced by punk and keeps part of its attitude but I find it more pleasant than punk. Still energetic

Do you know Bauhaus? Do you like this band? You may be familiar with them or they may be completely new to you. In that case, I’m happy to introduce you to new music 🙂

Image courtesy of Pixabay and Spotify.



Last Week in Music

This week’s “Last Week in Music” features new artists. I’ve been actively looking for new artists, it’s not pleasant to be listening to the same tracks over and over again. Unless they are amazing and even then, they get old when they are overplayed.

I’ve been listening to more music. Last week’s stats were the following:


For people who aren’t familiar with LastFm, a scrobble is a song that I played. In 7 days, I listened to 2 and a half days of music. Wow, that’s a lot. I had no idea.

I’ve been diving in the world of genres and subgenres, into the music rabbit hole. There are so many bands and so many sounds, it’s overwhelming. I’m still searching for new bands each week. It really cheers me up to find new music that I like,


Ghostpoet was a great discovery. It’s a project by Obaro Ejimiwe. He sounds eerily like Roots Manuva. The resemblance is uncanny. I could swear it was him. About his genre, this is what he has to say:

“So Interesting. Why is it so important for me to be part of a predetermined genre with its parameters and rules? I’m just an artist who experiments with sounds and loves guitars. It’s ok to be confused, not everything in life needs explanation, sometimes we just have to go with it”

Is it hip hop? Trip-hop? No one knows. Haha. All I know is that it’s great music and you should check it out.

Trigg & Gusset has a minimalistic sound. Doomjazz is the genre, I wasn’t familiar with it.

“Doom jazz is a form of music that combines the slow tempos, and sense of despair of doom metal with jazz style and sensibility. The music usually conveys an aura of pessimistic introspection, and many of the artists incorporate dark ambient influences into their music.”

It’s the perfect sound if you’re tired or relaxing, it’s very soothing and tranquil. It takes you to far away places. I’ve listened to a few bands of this genre and I must say that it’s fantastic. If you like jazz, you should check this group out.

Coconuts by Anna Wise is a song that I really like. It’s young, fresh and hip. I love her voice. It’s very catchy. It has a hint of the ’80s, with the saxophone. It’s chilled and smooth.

Here are this week’s top artists:

top artists

Oh my God, Orchid Mantis. As you can see by the number of times I’ve listened to them, I really, really like this band. Thomas Howard is behind this solo project. He considers his sound to be alternative rock. It’s hard to define their sound. According to rateyourmusic.com, they are an indie pop band. On his Spotify bio :


I find that it is also influenced by shoegaze and dream pop, as the sound is very ethereal at times. The vocalist has a wonderful s a d b o y voice. It’s really good. Their whole discography is great. My favorite album is Yellow House but Flashbulb Memory is also an amazing album. I’ll be paying close attention to their career from now on.

Bohren & der Club of Gore is amazing. They are a German group, that was formed by 4 longtime friends. All their songs are only instrumental. “Doom-ridden jazz music” is how they describe their sound, so I guess it fits in the Doom Jazz category. It’s ambient/jazz on Wikipedia, which also makes sense. To be honest, I like jazz, when it’s not free jazz or other genres of jazz where artist improvise too freely, without order. Chaotic music is unsettling to me.

I can listen to this group for hours and hours. It’s really pleasant. It sounds like a soundtrack of a detective movie, at times. I think it’s the saxophone and the whole ambiance. An excellent discovery that I made this week. I recommend Bohren For Beginners, as it is an amazing album and the name is fitting if it’s the first time you’re listening to them.

Anna Wise has a completely different sound. Wikipedia describes as alternative R’n’B and art pop. I agree. Her sound is very hip and funky. She is an amazing vocalist and she has won a Grammy for her collaboration with Kendrick Lamar in “These Walls”. I knew that I had already seen her name somewhere. That is an amazing feat. If you like Abra and the like, you’ll like this artist. She has two albums called “The Feminine” Act I and II. The first album starts with Terence Mckenna talking briefly. I really like to hear samples of him and other thinkers of this world.

Ruby Haunt is not a new discovery. Victor Pakpour and Wyatt Ininns have this project since 2015. Some of their influences are New Order, Suicide and Joy Division. Their sound can be called minimal pop, indie pop, dream pop, etc. It’s definitely pop but not your usual pop. It has post-punk influences among others. If you want to listen to them, I recommend Nevada. It’s an excellent album and it features Destroyer, my favorite song of theirs. Though all the songs in this album are amazing.

Nothing was a great discovery. Their sound is something else. It is a mix of shoegaze with metal. Walls of distorted guitars and harmonies. Domenic Palermo is the frontman of this band. His voice is angelic and pure. I recommend Dance On The Blacktop, their latest album. Their sound feels new and nostalgic, at the same time, which is weird. But a good kind of weird.

I talked about Ghostpoet earlier in the article.

Ah, Gorilla Biscuits. That straight edge hardcore punk band that you can never forget. One of the best, in my opinion. The band was formed in 1987 and split up in 1992. The remaining members formed a pop-punk band called CIV. They released two albums on Revelation Records. It’s very easy to listen to their discography: two albums and an average of 2 minutes per song. I would say that their sound is short and sweet, sometimes you need 12 minutes. Other times, you need 2 minutes. It depends on the genre. Their music is fast so they can do a lot in 2 minutes.

Junglepussy is a New York rapper. Her lyrics are witty, tongue-in-cheek and raw. She is open her sexuality and she “preaches” female autonomy. If you want to have a listen, try her debut album, Satisfaction Guaranteed. She’s a skilled MC, I would love to hear her freestyle or do a battle with some other MC that I like.

The following image is of last week’s most listened albums:


I recommend these albums this week. The reason why there are so few scrobbles (plays) is that I listen to a lot of playlists and compilations of random songs. I also don’t listen to albums on repeat often.

These were the songs that I listened to the most last week:


Tommy Genesis, Orchid Mantis and Have a Nice Life. What a mix.

Tommy’s song is very catchy and I listen to it every time I go outside. It makes walking more fun and it makes you want to dance or sing along. I wouldn’t dare to do it in the street here, this is a small city and people don’t like things that are out of the box.

Bloodhail by Have a Nice Life is just perfect. The vocals are flawless, the instrumental is very simple and yet captivating. The back vocals fit very well in this track. It’s a dark song, both instrumentally and lyrically. I guess it fits my mood these days.

What have you been listening to? Do you know any of these bands? What bands or artists would you recommend me based on these artists?

This is it for this week’s Last Week in Music. See you next week or on my next post.


Last week in music and music recommendations


These were the artists that I listened to the most last week. I recommend every one of them.


I found Grouper last week and I’ve been hooked. It’s so soothing and marvelous. Great for unwinding and self-soothing, in times of crisis.


Thursday is an old favorite, from my emo days. I recommend it, listen to A City By The Light Divided. It’s a great album. It’s sad, it’s angsty, it’s angry. It’s a lot of feelings but you may like it. I sure do.


Massive Attack is in the old favorite category. If you never listened to them, you really should. They are iconic. A cult group that never ceases to amaze. You never know what to expect. They have great love songs. Songs that are really innovative. Songs that we can’t stop hearing. Every album is amazing and I recommend starting with the first albums. It’s trip-hop, it’s electronic music. It’s a mix of genres and influences.


Radiohead is my final old favorite. The first song I’ve ever heard from this band was Creep. I liked it at the time but I could never imagine what Radiohead would become. It has a huge following, their sound really matured and changed. Every album is good but the newer albums speak to me more. They never lost their spark. Their music is always fresh and innovative but you instantly know it’s them. I recommend listening to Ok Computer, Kid A and Amnesiac. Listen to the whole discography, if you can. You won’t regret it. Use headphones or good speakers. Listening to them is a real experience. They take you to other places. I’m listening to the King Of Limbs album. It’s very good so far. Tonight I’ll probably listen to their discography, just skip a few songs that make me sad. Radiohead is a whole mood.



Tommy Genesis and Kilo Kish are very interesting artists, more urban and hip. That R’n’B mixed with strong electronic beats. Sometimes that’s exactly what I want to hear. I listen more to Tommy Genesis, a few of her songs, like 100Bad and Execute, are real bangers. It’s very good to listen to while walking outside.


Cemeteries is a good friend of mine. I’ve listened to them countless times. It’s music for the heart, mind, and soul. So sensitive and beautiful. I like all of their albums but especially Barrow. I’ve talked about Cemeteries before, as I listen to them all the time. I’m listening to The Wilderness album. It’s from 2012 and it’s their first album. It’s a great debut album. I’ve only listened to it 3 or 4 times these last months so I’m listening to it again, paying more attention now. I love all the songs except one. It’s amazing how consistent they are. Kudos to them for delivering such amazing music.


Pinkshinyultrablast is one of those bands that you just want to listen to more and more. It’s a Russian band, which is odd but interesting. You don’t associate shoegaze with Russia but I guess there’s shoegaze everywhere or almost. It could be called dream pop as well. The vocals are very dream pop. I’m listening to Miserable Miracles. It’s such a light and fun album. Reminds me of Cocteau Twins, at times. This album is very electronic and I think that every track is unique and beautiful. Maybe a little twee pop, too. Grandfeathered is different. More guitars, still dreamy and lovely. This is a band that I recommend. It’s energetic and yet serene music.


Alcest is a French band. It started as a black metal band but their sound became more ethereal and atmospheric. I recommend Les Voyages de L’âme. It’s an amazing album. It reminds me of Opeth, at times.


Destroyer is a band from Canada. It started as an electric folk band but their sound changed. It became more quirky and electronic. I recommend Kaputt. In my opinion, it’s their best album. Their frontman, Dan Bejar, said that he was influenced by Miles Davis and Roxy Music. The songs in this album are very catchy, with great female back vocals. According to Wikipedia, this album is jazz-infused, lounge music-inspired, sophisti-pop.


Influenced by Mineral and American Football, Empire!Empire!(I Was A Lonely Estate) really revived the sound of mid-90’s emo. I recommend What It Takes To Move Forward. This is an excellent album, with hypnotic guitar riffs, amazing drums. The vocals and back vocals are a great addition, to give it that emocore feel.


This was my tag timeline since January 4th. I love stats, so I find this very interesting. My taste is eclectic and I don’t listen to the same genre for a long time. I just follow what I feel at the moment or look for new bands.


I want to increase the number of new bands that I find. There’s this mainstream notion that music is terrible now. I disagree, there are so many great new bands or bands that are unknown to us. They mix lots of different genres, it’s not that canned music that you hear on the radio. If you don’t have the patience to look for new bands, I will be recommending albums and bands. Music is so important to me that I had to include it in my blog. I hope you like it.

More music recommendations and stats next week. I hope you have a great week.

Valentine’s Day and music

I want to raise a glass to everyone who is single. Let’s celebrate it. It’s good to be single and, if you feel sad about it, treat yourself today. Have dinner or go out with your friends.

I will be spending Valentine’s day alone. Right now, I’m listening to cheesy 80’s songs with a friend on discord. Spandau Ballet’s True is playing. Rick Astley is coming up.

It feels good not to have sentimental responsibilities today. I’m not in a relationship so I don’t have to worry about anyone, worry about their problems. To be dependent on someone can feel good but it’s also important to be independent. To be happy and satisfied with yourself. I feel like I’ve reached that point. It feels very good and liberating to be alone. Like I’ve turned a page in my life. A new chapter in my story. I hope I can do my best now and turn my life around. Do it alone, this time. Well, mostly alone but with some help from my parents and my friends. I still have a good support network and that is very important. Some people have to do it without a support network. Everything is possible. I’ve seen people make it alone and I’ve seen people not make it with help. It all depends on who you are, what you’ve done, what you can do and what you are willing to do. It’s a combination of factors.

I would like to also raise a glass to everyone who is married or in a committed relationship. I hope you are in love and things are working well between the two (or more, who knows?) of you. Love is a beautiful thing and should be cherished. I truly hope that you’ve had or are having a wonderful Valentine’s Day.

I’ve been thinking about him today, like every other day. I think about calling him but then realize that I have too much to tell him and he will never understand. No point in calling. It’s like talking to a wall. I can’t and won’t deal with that. I need to be heard and understood. That’s the only way things can work with someone.

This is why I feel that being alone is very good for me, right now. It doesn’t have to be like this forever but I’m enjoying life as it is. Fewer feelings, expectations, responsibilities, suffering. Just me for now and my own troubles. That is enough for me. I can’t take on anyone else’s troubles. Nor do I want to. Life is hard enough as is. Focusing on myself and my work is my top priority. I want to stay away from drama, can’t deal with that anymore. It’s exhausting and highly unnecessary. I avoid it like the plague. If I don’t start it, why should I deal with it? There are ways to avoid drama. Communication is one of them. Talk things through in a civilized way, without judgment or personal attacks. Don’t aim to hurt, aim to reconcile.


This is what I’ve been listening to. Plenty of Warpaint and alternative rock.


I’m listening to this Spotify playlist now. I don’t know any of the artists. In the mood for new artists and different sounds. It’s the perfect soundtrack for writing.

I didn’t like the song so I’m listening to this:


It’s an amazing album and I recommend it. Unique, catchy, melodic and raw. It can be a little melancholic at times. Bloodhail is one of my favorite songs. The vocals with the back vocals create such pleasant harmonies. It’s just a remarkable song with variety and depth. Just the way I like them.

I hope you had a great day. Much love.

Yesterday And Today

Yesterday, I woke up at 10 pm. It was impossible to get up. Sometimes, depression hits me like a truck. I sleep and sleep and sleep. Get up tired, at unorthodox hours. That in turn, messes up my sleep schedule. Then, my mental health starts deteriorating. I get more depressed. It’s a vicious cycle that we should break as soon as possible. Staying up all day so you fall asleep at a decent time. That’s what I’m doing today. I’m exhausted but this is something I need to do so I’m pushing through.

Today was a beautiful and warm day. I was outside and it was no nice. Sadness is still lurking in my mind. I have to accept what I can’t change and move on. No matter how hard it is, no matter how much you want to do or feel something else. I know what is best for me and he is not it.

I could say a lot more but I won’t. There’s this need to keep him in the past. At least, that’s how I feel. if I write about him, he’s present. I don’t want to feel his presence.

So, I’m just here, minding my own business, writing and listening to music. I listened to Grouper and now I’m listening to empire! empire! (i was a lonely estate). Emotional music helps me to cope. I’m practicing self-care and will meditate tonight. Affirmations have also helped me. Yesterday, I was feeling terrible. I listened to some positive affirmations, at least for 40 minutes. It was very soothing and I’m much better today. I do all kinds of affirmations, except for abundance and things of that nature. It doesn’t feel right to do that but, if you do, more power to you and I hope it works. I use Insight Timer and I recommend searching for affirmations and try the ones that are done by Keneth Soares. It’s very reassuring and a great way to fall asleep. Sometimes we need to hear certain things, in order to feel better. Things that we forget, like being grateful, loving ourselves, etc. If you want to try meditation, I made a little guide on how to start meditating with Insight Timer.

Now, I’m going to head to Crowdin and practice my translation skills. Soon, I will be working in that field. I have to be prepared.

I wish you all a wonderful night. Take care.

Last Week in Music

This is what I listened to last week, according to Last.Fm.


I made at least three great discoveries this week: Grouper. True Widow and Tommy Genesis. Check out these artists and you’ll see my most listened albums below.


Cujo is an alias of Amon Tobin and this album is very good. I’ve been following his career almost since the beginning. He is a true artist. His music is very good. There’s a song called Fat Ass Joint in this album. I really like it. It’s very chill and funky. In my opinion, if you enjoy alternative electronic music, you should listen to his albums.

Melanchole, by Salvia Palth, is very good as well. It’s totally s a d b o y music but I like it. My favorite song is I Was All Over Her. I play that song every day. It’s such a beautiful and touching track. I don’t know why I like it so much but I do.

That Massive Attack album is a compilation and it’s a good start if you’ve never listened to them.

Ison is a very innovative and good album.

Hospice by The Antlers is one of my favorite albums in the whole world. It’s so soothing and perfect. A must-listen. It portrays joy, sadness, many different emotions. I love the vocals. Peter Silberman has a very unique voice. That is very important to me. Unique voices, with the right instrumentals, create one of a kind experiences for the listener. It’s not your average formatted, mainstream, Idol type of voice. The Voice, Idol, I really can’t stand those shows. Always the same songs, by the same artists, that a million other people have sung before. The Antlers is out of the ordinary and I recommend you to listen to this album.

Fossor, In Pieces by Cemeteries, is a good album. It’s fairly recent and I didn’t realize until yesterday that they had released a new album. May favorite Cemeteries album is still Barrow. I like almost all the songs in that album. Cemeteries is one of those bands that you keep coming back to. Their sound is haunting, hypnotic and ethereal. A sort of light heaviness or heavy lightness. It’s amazing. The Wilderness is my second favorite album of them. Summer Smoke is on that album and that is a song that is impossible to forget.

My favorite songs were the following:


Well, The first song is an Alan Watts lecture from Youtube.  It’s a really good one. Alan Watts is very eloquent and he says mindblowing things.

I recommend all of these songs and these artists.

Happy listening!