Poem: This Beautiful Planet We Call Earth

Quiet

Tender

So is darkness

Above

And beyond

Waves of muffled sounds

Of cars and buses

Of motorcycles

It’s a pleasant and comforting sound

Like a lullaby

I exist

Floating above the sound and below the sky

I endure

Days upon days

Of quiet torture

And subtle discomfort

Comfortably placed with an uncomfortable mind

I stay behind

Guarding the underachievers

Protecting hobos and prostitutes

Looking after the drunk punk

And the squatter who is high

I

Yes, I

Walk the steps of those who dared to move

Because they had to

And I have to

Tone these muscles that sustain me

Smoke less cigarettes

Eat more greens

Life can be bohemian and healthy

Sickness is expensive

And sometimes fatal

We can’t risk it

That’s why I see so many people running

And walking

Riding bicycles and skateboards

Or rollerblades

Just moving

Breathing pure air

And catching some sun

That is the life

One of the best parts of it

With movement

There is no poetry

Unless it’s poetry about movement

I can’t write while moving

But I can watch someone move

And write a few sentences about her

There is time for everything

Movement

Poetry

Writing

Drawing

It’s all I do

And all I want to do

Art as a means to evolve

And heal

Writing as a therapy

As a catharsis

An escape fr this disorganized organized chaos

That is this beautiful planet

We call earth

Image by qimono, courtesy of Pixabay

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Poem: Days Like Quiet Storms

Riding the carroussel

Full speed

It never stops

You have to jump from it

And pray that you don’t hurt yourself

When you fall.

Getting hurt is inevitable

Either you jump or not

Full speed

On a path of self-destruction

Every day

Closer to death

Every day

Dying

Every day

Pretending to live

Pretending

But not living

Or am I?

Forgot how to be human

Forgot my essence

My presence

Dancing alone in the kitchen

While the coffee machine makes a terribly loud sound

Coffee smells like heaven

Such a familiar aroma

Caffeine in my bloodstream

Keeping me awake

Minutes like waves

Hours like streams

Days like quiet storms

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

Poem: Old Muse

Oh, muse

Now that we parted ways

What will inspire me?

Now that my days are emptier

Now that thrill is gone.

What will motivate me?

Can I pick myself up?

Dust myself and move on.

Slowly

I stand on my own two legs

And walk

I walk with fragile legs

That are mostly still

Every step means more strength

More stamina

Every step means growth

Expansion

Promises of help are useless

Show me what you want to do to help

And what I can do for you

Show me that you care and won’t hurt me

Or even better

Don’t show me anything

I don’t want to see anything

From anyone

Not in the way that we were, my old muse

Isolating myself would be the way to go

But I won’t do that

Not this time

I’m tired but strong

This won’t put me down

It was just a hard lesson

That I’m grateful for

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poem: I Lost A Boyfriend But Kept A Friend

I’m mourning you

I’m mourning us

What we had

What we could’ve had

I lost a boyfriend

But kept a friend

You are so sweet

The day is brighter when you are near me

I feel such tenderness in my heart

When I listen to our songs

You’re amazing and I miss you

But you didn’t change

Things didn’t change

Problems piled up

Monotony killed romance

But I will always love you

We didn’t fight

Or scream

You gave me peace and love

I really needed it

You supported me

You saw me at my worst

And still loved me

You carried me in your arms

When I couldn’t walk

The weight of the world on your shoulders

And you were still standing

You’re so strong

You didn’t have any emotional baggage

Your mind was organized

Everything in little boxes

Tidy

Unlike mine

But you got me some little boxes

And lent an ear

These five years

Almost six

Gave me the peace and stability that I needed

To be with someone that has no baggage

Is a blessing

We lived unforgettable moments

Of pure magic

I hope you can find someone who loves you

As much as I did

I was crazy about you

When your eyes met mine

I was complete

When you leaned over to kiss me

I was in awe

My eyes lit up

My heart raced

Time seemed to slow down

And then it would speed up

Hours flew by

There was a time

When we were together every day

I spent almost all day with you

Depression and psychosis

You handled it like a pro

Made me feel normal

And loved

I would wake up at 5 am

And immediately call you

By 5:30

We were having breakfast together

At a local café

You made me laugh

You saw me cry

You cried, too

My dear kind soul

Then

I got better

I got sober

But there were so many problems

Things that could be solved

But no one would take a stand

And I couldn’t do anything

I felt helpless

Days turned into weeks

Weeks turned into months

Months turned into years

And there were no changes

I had to make a decision

But it was too hard

I was used to you

I was grateful for everything you did for me

Torn

I put myself first

And here I am

Thinking about you

But taking care of me

 

Image from Pixabay.

 

 

 

 

Poem: Inescapable Ecstasy

Inescapable ecstasy

Of mind games

Stories

Unavoidable flesh

Of unstoppable desire

Clouds

Between you and me

They are fading away

Sunshine through them

Lights up my day

I want to stay

Be near you

Rest in your arms

Even if they are not palpable

Even if it’s just a smile or a kind word

I don’t ask for much

For you and I have nothing to give

 

Image from Pixabay

Poem: Rest Your Eyes In The Dark

And then

Nothingness comes

It gets comfortable in you

Everything seems excessive and overwhelming

Stop the music

Stop writing

Just stop

Things stop making sense

Lose their meaning

Dissociating

It happens to the best of us

Rest your eyes in the dark

Not the darkness of your soul

The darkness of your room

Lie still and rest

Rest in the soothing blackness

 

Image courtesy of Pixabay

 

 

 

Poem: But Our Demons Don’t Want To Dance Together

I’m not going to call you today

You are like a dark cloud

Over me

I could rant

But I’ll just be clear

Though I’m in love

There’s no way in hell

I would date you

Red Flags and Long Nights

like the “she wants revenge” song

My revenge will be treating you like you treat me

So I’m not going to care

Or call

I feel good today

You would ruin it

I love you

But our demons don’t want to dance together

You were a good teacher

Like everyone I come in contact with

And know on a deeper level

You have my respect

But not my trust

You have my love

But not my mind

 

Image from Pixabay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poem: No Chains

Amazing connection

Of mutual respect and love

Love without chains

Who needs chains?

Or labels?

I don’t want a child

To raise

I don’t want a boyfriend or a husband

I want a lover I don’t have to love

Like Bright Eyes

Every song a new memory of him

No arguments

No yelling

We stay in peace

Amidst the storm

Each one facing a stream of high waves

Different goals, different approaches

But some goals in common

Similar passions

In another time

We could’ve been something

But not now

I’ve said this before

Love has disappointed me

People disappoint me

I need time to be alone

I need my own space

I don’t want to be dependent on someone

I want to be me

And I need to be free

Something in me

Wants this

This whole situation

Is suitable for me