Poem: I Lost A Boyfriend But Kept A Friend

I’m mourning you

I’m mourning us

What we had

What we could’ve had

I lost a boyfriend

But kept a friend

You are so sweet

The day is brighter when you are near me

I feel such tenderness in my heart

When I listen to our songs

You’re amazing and I miss you

But you didn’t change

Things didn’t change

Problems piled up

Monotony killed romance

But I will always love you

We didn’t fight

Or scream

You gave me peace and love

I really needed it

You supported me

You saw me at my worst

And still loved me

You carried me in your arms

When I couldn’t walk

The weight of the world on your shoulders

And you were still standing

You’re so strong

You didn’t have any emotional baggage

Your mind was organized

Everything in little boxes

Tidy

Unlike mine

But you got me some little boxes

And lent an ear

These five years

Almost six

Gave me the peace and stability that I needed

To be with someone that has no baggage

Is a blessing

We lived unforgettable moments

Of pure magic

I hope you can find someone who loves you

As much as I did

I was crazy about you

When your eyes met mine

I was complete

When you leaned over to kiss me

I was in awe

My eyes lit up

My heart raced

Time seemed to slow down

And then it would speed up

Hours flew by

There was a time

When we were together every day

I spent almost all day with you

Depression and psychosis

You handled it like a pro

Made me feel normal

And loved

I would wake up at 5 am

And immediately call you

By 5:30

We were having breakfast together

At a local café

You made me laugh

You saw me cry

You cried, too

My dear kind soul

Then

I got better

I got sober

But there were so many problems

Things that could be solved

But no one would take a stand

And I couldn’t do anything

I felt helpless

Days turned into weeks

Weeks turned into months

Months turned into years

And there were no changes

I had to make a decision

But it was too hard

I was used to you

I was grateful for everything you did for me

Torn

I put myself first

And here I am

Thinking about you

But taking care of me

 

Image from Pixabay.

 

 

 

 

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Poem: Inescapable Ecstasy

Inescapable ecstasy

Of mind games

Stories

Unavoidable flesh

Of unstoppable desire

Clouds

Between you and me

They are fading away

Sunshine through them

Lights up my day

I want to stay

Be near you

Rest in your arms

Even if they are not palpable

Even if it’s just a smile or a kind word

I don’t ask for much

For you and I have nothing to give

 

Image from Pixabay

Poem: Rest Your Eyes In The Dark

And then

Nothingness comes

It gets comfortable in you

Everything seems excessive and overwhelming

Stop the music

Stop writing

Just stop

Things stop making sense

Lose their meaning

Dissociating

It happens to the best of us

Rest your eyes in the dark

Not the darkness of your soul

The darkness of your room

Lie still and rest

Rest in the soothing blackness

 

Image from Pixabay

 

 

 

Poem: But Our Demons Don’t Want To Dance Together

I’m not going to call you today

You are like a dark cloud

Over me

I could rant

But I’ll just be clear

Though I’m in love

There’s no way in hell

I would date you

Red Flags and Long Nights

like the “she wants revenge” song

My revenge will be treating you like you treat me

So I’m not going to care

Or call

I feel good today

You would ruin it

I love you

But our demons don’t want to dance together

You were a good teacher

Like everyone I come in contact with

And know on a deeper level

You have my respect

But not my trust

You have my love

But not my mind

 

Image from Pixabay.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Poem: It’s Time To Wake Up

Rollercoaster of feelings

Overwhelmed

Tired

Asocial

Outcast

I sit and contemplate life

Life and possibilities

The universe

I ask questions

But get no answers

Only theories and ideas

I feel the disquiet

I am the disquiet

Stepping in unknown territory

Single

With a close friend

I can’t be co-dependent

I have to rely on myself

Be self-sufficient

In every way

Step by step

To have pride

Is necessary

I feel like I’m leaving a cocoon

Like I’ve been hibernating for too long

It’s time to wake up

Image by SHAWSHANK61, courtesy of Pixabay.

Poem: It’s Been Too Long

Lovely night

Ever so quiet

Dreams float above the city

The sky is full of dreams

And nightmares

Not everyone has pleasant dreams

Nightmares like silent thrillers

In black and white

Being chased

Run

Running in your dreams is wild

And fighting, too

You can never quite run or fight

That feeling when you wake up

And realize it was just a dream

That awkward feeling you get

When you realize that you dreamt about your ex once again

I haven’t dreamt about him in months

Maybe I’m cured

That was a long lasting disease of the heart

That ghost that always haunts you

But he has proven to me

Time and time again

That he is not worth it

It was important to me

I had to find out for myself

If I can rationalize something

And see that it’s not good for me

For a number of reasons

It’s easier to let go

And I need to let go

It’s been too long

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

Poem: Muse

I hope you don’t mind

That you’re my muse now

The one who inspires great passions

The one who makes me dream about love poetry

Odes to you

Sonnets to you

You

Creative you

Every scene has a dialogue

Every character has a story

There is an immensity of words inside you

That you need to articulate

Everyone has an excess of words

We need to let them out how we can

When we can

Kindred spirits get each other

They live in a world of ideas and concepts

Your presence and your absence are a part of the same whole

Both necessary

But your absence is painful

Your presence is blissful

Everything is fun around you

I feel loved when I’m with you

Tenderness

And care

Affection

All that I needed

I feel complete

But I don’t know if we’ll ever be together

And that’s okay

If we stopped being together tomorrow

I would still be happy

I would still feel privileged to have spent such wonderful days

In your company

Our friendship is forever

I feel that

It’s the basis of what we have

It’s deep and strong

You’re sleeping and I’m writing about you

Thank you

Image courtesy of Pixabay.

Poem: Reborn

Sharing a kiss with you

There’s music in your touch

I want to hug you

And squeeze you

I miss you already

Every good bye like a knife through my heart

Every kiss like the first one

Every hug like the only one I’ve ever experienced

Every day seems new

Newer than before

Like a shiny opportunity to grow

A new adventure

Every day is not the same anymore

Reborn and excited for what comes next

I stand incredulous

How did this happen?

How did I get here?

I see the purpose of having you in my life

What existence is trying to teach me

And I embrace it

I’m ready

Image courtesy of Pixabay.