Night thoughts and Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”

I’m listening to Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” and thinking about life. How it can be strange and confusing. And then be pleasant again and again and again. Become a habit. No commitment but there’s feelings. It feels like freedom. I needed that freedom.

I need time for myself, to enjoy life, build a future, etc. I don’t want a relationship now, absolutely not. I’m so co-dependent when I’m in a relationship. I want to break that pattern. Be more independent, as I used to be. It’s a good thing and a good feeling.

First, I need to earn money and then study. Work part-time somewhere. My goals are self-improvement and evolution. Being able to be social and behave like a normal human being. I feel like I lack some basic skills but at least I am emotionally intelligent. I don’t take criticism badly and I appreciate it, when it means well.

I’ve been spending so much time alone and so much time with someone. It’s wild.

First, you’re alone. You talk with your online and irl friends. Then you share a house with someone. It’s like night and day. I can’t make the rules, they’re already made. I have to compromise and he compromises. That’s how it is.

“The Wall” is a great album. Easy to listen to, creative. It’s amazing. It’s a cult album for a reason. 10/10 will listen again. I love “Another Brick In The Wall”, “Mother” and others. This was mainstream at the time. I know there’s still good music but the top 40 charts have really bad music. I prefer to listen to other genres of music.

I’m not that person to say “everything was better back in the day”. There’s really good modern music. I try to listen to as many new artists as I can. I track it with Last.Fm . This site tells me the percentage of new artists that I listen to in the previous week.

Every song in the wall has a great atmosphere and it builds up. Experimental songs like “Don’t Leave Me Now” are examples of music that wouldn’t sell today, though they sound terrific. Very majestic moments and nice ambiances. Mostly smooth and spaced out.

“Comfortably Numb” is amazing. So beautiful and harmonious. A timeless classic. I, too, have become comfortably numb. But I’m slowly waking up. Day by day, thought by thought.

“In The Flesh” is amazing as well. This whole album is just great. Can’t complain or do constructive criticism. It’s magical.

I really need to see my therapist and my psychiatrist. These changes may affect me in a negative way. I’m okay now but I don’t know. Only time will tell if I will have a problem with these changes.

I hope you are all okay.

Much love

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