My day and my plans for tonight

My day was wonderful and full of love. I spent time with the love of my life and it felt very good. He wakes up really early so by 9 pm he was K.O.

So I came home, for the first time, by myself. I grabbed his headphones and walked to the sound of music. I couldn’t even do it before but I did it today and I’m proud. It’s one small step for a man and one giant step for Scarlett.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist so I will be researching BPD. Read articles, personal stories etc to see if I can do more for my recovery. I won’t quit before I have all my questions answered and I’ll be sharing interesting articles that I find.

Oh, I have a question for you. What would you like to see on my blog? My story, poetry, music, BPD news etc. I would love to know what you think.


The best day of the week :)

Today is going to be a good day. It’s my boyfriend’s day off so we have the whole day to ourselves. We only talk on the phone most of the week and sometimes, when he gets home, he falls asleep before talking to me because he is so tired. I don’t get mad at him, obviously. I get mad at his work for being so demanding. He works 60+ hours a week, with only one day off. He’s always tired. That bothers me a lot. I want my boyfriend to be happy in his job, I want him to have more free time. These are only dreams, of course. His feet get very sore from walking so much (he’s a waiter in an under-staffed restaurant). Furthermore, he doesn’t even have a contract. I wonder how bosses can live with themselves knowing that there are people that worked for them who lack financial security. I couldn’t live with myself knowing that but I know most bosses only care about profit. His bosses own lots of real estate and they earn huge amounts of money during the summer. In February, they are going to finally talk about a contract. I really hope he can get it. That would mean more stability for us, the possibility of renting a small house and him having better credit (which is very important because he wants to buy a car and it can be helpful for other things).

I would like to write more but I really need to get myself ready to meet him.

I hope you have a great day and thank you for reading!

One of my favorite songs of all time

U2 is not a band that I listen to much. Their newer works are not as good as some older songs they have. When “Pop” was released in 1997, I bought the CD. It featured “Discotheque”, “Please and “Staring at the sun”among others called “If you wear that velvet dress”, the song is here  It’s one of my favorite songs of all time. It brings me good memories and a bit of the melancholy this used to bring me but that is okay- It’s a sensual song and very haunting. I recommend listening to “Pop“. It has aged well, in my opinion. I’m listening right now and I’m remembering long lost memories. Sometimes some parts of the song or lyrics remind of a certain episode or moment in the past. It’s also interesting to relive certain situations (it all depends on the situation it reminds me, good or bad).  I prefer to remember good situations and avoid the heartbreaking memories. I believe some people would agree that some memories belong in the most hidden part of our brain and out of our sight.

I hope I’m not bothering if I’m writing too much and saying gibberish? Have you been enjoying my posts? I feel super-excited to write. Every day I feel like this what I should have been doing for a long time.

Tonight (night thoughts and ways to make money online(not scams))

It’s so late that I hear the birds sing already. Exchanging ideas with a friend, listening to music. I feel great. I feel I shouçd share with the blogosphere that I am happy and content. I enjoy writing very much and having the opportunity to share my thoughts with this wide audience is amazing. To see so many like-minded people, with similar struggles. It’s empowering to see that you are not alone and to receive the overwhelming support of the community.

I am hydrated and ready to write for a few more hours. I feel highly inspired tonight.

My heart’s bleeding words. That it has stored the last few days when I couldn’t write for the life of me. I think creativity also need to rest from time to time. To hibernate for a while, not write anything is okay. I just don’t want to do it. I feel like writing a lot and understanding myself better. Understanding my conditions and hat I can do to treat them. Tips and positive coping mechanisms are always important to know.

Because I want to improve even more. I want to have a job (working from home would be great but we’ll see. There are a lot of possibilities. I will be sharing those opportunities with you if they are worthwhile. I want this blog to help you in every way possible.

Maybe your disability is not much money or you haven’t been accepted for disability (like me), I want to help you make money online. You can be a freelancer and earn money in this new gig economy. There is Iwriter where you can write and get paid for it. There is Freelancer for freelancing jobs. There is also Upwork for online gigs and freelancing jobs. These types of jobs are multiplying and I will keep you updated.

I believe we can get better, I believe we can improve our lives. With our joint knowledge, we will overcome this. It may be hard but it’s going to be great! Don’t stop believing in recovery. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel.

Music that enhances my mood: B is for Bauhaus.

If you like post-punk, you will love Bauhaus. Melancholic but energetic, Bauhaus takes me to another era. It cheers me up and puts me in a good mood. It has a party vibe. The vocals are very 70’s/80’s, as Bauhaus didn’t have just one vocalist. I advise you to listen to the whole discography. It’s very enjoyable.

If you never heard about them or don’t know what post-punk is, listen to it anyway, try something new!

What music would you recommend me to hear to enhance my mood? Tell me in the comments.

Thoughts on my cats and cats in general

I have three cats. The oldest is 6 years old, the middle one is 3 years old and the smallest is 8 months old.

The last and youngest one was rescued by me so we have a beautiful bond.

One night, I was going home after a night out and as we walked, I started hearing a kitten meowing very loud. It was her,  a small kitten, so very scared. I could say terrified. I caught her after 15 minutes of trying. My friends were patient because I told them I was going to take her home.

As I lived with my parents, I needed their authorization. My father was furious. My parents had a huge fight. It was really a terrible night but she stayed. I go to bed late and she leaves my parent’s bed and comes sleep with me. She likes to sleep under the covers. She lays close to me and purrs very loud.

Cats are delightful creatures. I really like their personality.They complement my introvert loner lifestyle (with the exception of when I go out with friends, I’m extroverted then). Dogs require more care and more going outside. At least two times a day, you have to take your dog out. It’s much more practical to have a litter box and cleaning it. It’s good that it fits the lifestyle and personality of many people but I am team cat. I like cats like this lady.

My other two cats are closer to my mother, they are lovely as well. One is a tuxedo and the other female cat is white mixed with European fur.

Petting them and having a bond with them is so therapeutic. Knowing that this lovely animal likes your company and enjoys time away from you, too. I love their quirks and their randomness. Sometimes it’s like the cat understands you and does what you want him to. Other times, no matter how many times you call, they will ignore you. I find that amusing.

I would like you to tell if you are a cat lover and if so, tell me about your cats. I would love to hear it.