I am hurting, crying. The pain is immense and overwhelming. He was such a loyal and caring friend. A dreamer and an idealist. I knew him for 18 years. One of my oldest friends.
I can’t stand when people say that suicide is cowardice and for weak people. My friend was not weak or a coward. He was just hurting in a way that we didn’t understand. I have absolutely no respect for people who say those things. How low it is to feel superior to someone who die in such tragic ways. “I would never do it”, “It’s the easy way out”. Please, shut up. Seriously, shut up. Those words are heartless and completely unnecessary. Walk a mile in their shoes and then talk. Those are the real cowards. Bad mouthing the dead. Invalidating someone’s feelings and desperation. I have heard it in person. Some guys were laughing about a suicide, mocking the person who died. I was disgusted and I voiced my disgust. I will never shut up if you say such things in my face. I will forever defend people who can no longer defend themselves.
They care too much, think too much and feel too much. They are tortured souls, like me. But medication, therapy and my support system keep me alive. I will forever be thankful for that. Not everyone has that, it’s a privilege. So I understand the ones that can’t make it. How hard it is to deal with life at times. Life can be cruel and senseless. Life can be surreal. It doesn’t make you weak or a coward, just human. Suffering and pain can affect tremendously. It twists your perception. Those who have never been suicidal or attempted suicide will never understand.
I love and miss you, J. I thought we would be friends for many years. You wanted a family and kids. You had so much to give to the world.
Image by pasja1000, courtesy of Pixabay.